ops Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

The LeBron Jersey Guy From The Indians Game Speaks!
Matt Bellamy, who riled up an entire city, says he'd move to Florida too if he could find a way. But the siren song of Sandusky is too strong! [Cleveland Frowns]...

Sir, You Cannot Wear That LeBron Jersey In Cleveland Unless You Go Through The Proper Editorial Process
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

We Want To See Your Ironic NBA Jerseys (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we posted a quicklink to The Faster Times's gallery of indie bros wearing NBA jerseys at the Pitchfork Festival. It's a fascinating phenomenon, a game even, as if they're actively trying to wear the most ridiculous NBA jersey imaginable....

In Case You're Confused, Big Ben Is The One Who DIDN'T Kill Two People
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

MLB.com Has Their Dewey Defeats Truman Moment, Then Doesn't
For far too long yesterday (read: at all), MLB.com had a game story up about the Twins easily handling the Brewers, 6-2. Meanwhile, the actual game was still in extra innings, tied at 7....

Wolpfack Typo Makes For Efic Pail
NC State issued their baseball media guide last week — then quickly took it down. Study it long enough, and you'll see why. Dyslexics of Raleigh...untie! [StateFansNation]...

TV People Confuse World Cup Host Country With Similarly Named Landmass
A reader sends this screengrab, from which we can deduce that either 1.) the poor kid doing the chyrons mixed up his large, Southern Hemispheric tracts of land or 2.) South Africa just won a war that no one knew about....

If Anyone Else Is Morbidly Curious About "The Human Centipede"...
Mark Lisanti is live blogging his viewing of it right now. It's just about to get fun it looks like. [MovieLine]...

Padres Prospects Display Plus-Plus Nerf-Hoops Acumen
H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos for the link and Matt for the embed code....

Villanova Got Poopshowered
In those heady hours before Ali Farokhmanesh, we only had Omar Samhan for our Middle Eastern American Mid-Major superhero. Thankfully, Samhan's YouTube fame endures thanks to his username: "poopshower." [SBNation]...

Clark Kellogg Renamed The Midwest Bracket The "Bang Bus" Bracket For Some Reason
Clark Kellogg's mind must be in the gutter. Or he has some nefarious plans for Evan Turner and the San Diego State cheer squad. H/t Hernando for the video....

Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...

Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...

An Intern Introduction And A Poop-Related Apology
Hello. If you haven't heard, I'm the new Deadspintern (feel free to suggest a nickname). I hope you have enjoyed what I've done so far because it's been a real hoot....

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

People Fainting On Live Television Will Never Cease To Amuse
Batista is a Brazilian soccer commentator who got a little woozy during a recent broadcast. Note the expression shortly before his eyes roll upward. It's the look of someone who knows he's about to be all over YouTube. [Unprofessional Foul]...

Confused Sports Radio Guy Thinks That I, Napkin Gladwell, Photographed Venus Williams's "Goods"
Look here, Rob Buska, whoever you are. I am Napkin Gladwell, journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. I am not a photographer. I am not in Australia. And I was certainly not "snapping" Venus Williams's "goods."...

Mike Greenberg Would Like To Clarify Something
"I would never say anything like that," Greeny says of today's little slip-up, "not in public, or in private, or in the silence of my own mind ..." The silence of my own mind. Beautiful....