otas Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Division II Football, They Play With The Difficulty Level Set To "Freshman"
Here's Minnesota State WR Dennis Carter scoring on a reverse during which he nearly goes out of bounds on both sidelines. Clearly he's been messing with the gameplay sliders, that cheater. This play would never work in real life. [CBSSN]...

Man Named Dokken Assaults Gopher Mascot Named Goldy
Before the rush to judgment commences, can we all agree that there is zero need for a buck-toothed mascot to obstruct the view of a 60-year-old guy who just wants to spend his Saturday enjoying some men's gymnastics? Cool....

World Sauna Championships End In Death
The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]...

No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....

Canceled Training Camps Are Early Warnings Of NFL Labor Strife
Jacksonville and Detroit became the third and fourth teams to cancel OTAs after players complained about the workouts. Have today's players turned into delicate little doilies, or is it the hand of the union at work in advance of contentious CBA negotiations?...

Sportswriters Continue To Safeguard Our Delicate Sensibilities
Reports the San Francisco Chronicle: Jeremy Affeldt nearly walked onto the field Wednesday for batting practice wearing "a camouflage cap bearing a play on his name not suitable for print." Who let all the schoolmarms into the press box? [SFGate]...

NCAA Tournament Live Blog: (3) Kansas vs (14) North Dakota State
Your live blogger for this game will be Teddy from Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette. That's actually the shortened name. His full name is "Theodore."...

NCAA First Round: (3) Kansas vs. (14) North Dakota State
Midwest Region: No. 3 Kansas (25-7) vs. No. 14 North Dakota State (26-6) When: Friday, 12:30 p.m., EDT Where: Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, Minneapolis, Minnesota KANSAS JAYHAWKS 1) Robbing the Cradle The big programs in college basketball have been getting younger and younger thanks to things lik...

Hallmark Presents The South Dakota State Jackrabbits
South Dakota State's women's basketball team is ranked higher than Tennessee in the current USA Today poll. Their best player also has a tug-at-your-heartstrings story that's gotta be worth three Mitch Albom columns. [USA Today]...

ND State Guard Scores 60, Sets School Free Throw Record
North Dakota State basketball player Ben Woodside had an incredible NCAA high 60 points in Friday's game. Amazing for sure, but only half of it was from action scoring....

Hockey Player Pulls Off Rare Hat Trick, Has His Stick Taken Away
Brace yourselves: This is not a hockey post. It's a college hockey post. And it's not even a Michigan State college hockey post—although I'm sure I'll find a way to work a few dozen of those in before the CCHA season is over—but when any athlete pulls off something that has happened maybe twice in t...

The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....

Suddenly My High School Years Look Sad And Lackluster
OK, the intern staff here at Deadspin labored for hours trying to find a sports connection to this story, and came up empty (all have been fired). Nonetheless, here is is, because it contains perhaps the greatest sentence ever seen in a news item in the English language. There is more hilarity eac...

Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...

Teewee Wistings, How Womantic
First, the College Football: • 12 noon — Wisconsin at Ohio State [BTN ... sorry, Comcastic Columbus!] • 12 noon — Indiana at Ball State [BTN] • 12 noon — Purdue at Penn State [ESPN] • 12 noon — Iowa at Northwestern [ESPN2] • 12:30 p.m. — Kansas State at Iowa State [Versus] • 2:30 p.m. — Navy at Notr...

So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...

Just Another Peaceful Day Of Youth Baseball On Long Island
At first glance it's the story you've heard a hundred times before: Little League coach benches player for swearing; player calls dad on cell phone; dad and uncle arrive and pummel the coach unconscious on the pitcher's mound; arrests ensue. But this one has a few twists: Mob connections, federal wi...

Beware The NDSU Bison
We don't mean to imply that there might be something weird happening with the BCS computer rankings, but ... North Dakota State is currently No. 18 in the Sagarin ratings....

East Side Little League Will Cap Your Ass
First of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....