p Page 6477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is Why You Don't Let Coaches On The Field
Did you know that because Arena Football games don't really have sidelines coaches are allowed to stand on the field of play? So everyone knew that one would eventually end up in a wheelchair, right?...

Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...

Jason Whitlock's Getting Antsy Again
Jason Whitlock, Fox Sports' professional contrarian and TRUTH-teller, playfully addresses Matt Vasgersian's MLB announcer awkwardness and declares himself "Racial Apology Czar." Oh, and he attacks Deadspin again....

What Ever Happened To "The Jewish Jordan"?
Do you remember Tamir Goodman, the greatest Orthodox Jewish basketball player ever to come out of the greater Baltimore area? Do you ever wonder what happened to him? Spoiler Alert!: Still Jewish. [NBC Washington]...

Hawks Radio Announcers Might Be Biased Against Dwayne Wade
Things got a little chippy during Atlanta's 106-91 mugging of Miami, but that seemed okay with the Hawks radio crews—as long as "the great Dwayne Wade" was on the receiving end of the rough stuff....

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...

If You Don't Want To Be Hassled By Nigerian Prostitutes, Don't Chew Gum
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UCONN. He graduated in 2008 and is now playing professional football - in Portchach, Austria. He's graciously shared some of the things he's experienced so far....

Swine Flu Paranoia Reaches Alabama
Huntsville, Ala.: "Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice." [ESPN.com]...

The Legendary Redskins Ticket "Waiting List" That Doesn't Exist
Dan Snyder likes to brag that the waiting list for Redskins season tickets has over 200,000 names on it. Then why is the team begging people who aren't on the list to buy seats?...

Alex Rodriguez On Steroids Since High School?
Here we go. It's two weeks until Selena Roberts' book about Alex Rodriguez hits shelves, but the media blitz begins today with the New York Daily News taking the first look at the ugly details....

Chris Berman: King Of The Swamp Ass
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Usain Bolt's Winged Appendages Undamaged In Accident
Usain Bolt was not seriously injured in a car accident in Jamaica yesterday—just minor injuries to the balls of his feet. That's good....I'm sure he won't be needing his feet for anything important. [Jamaica Observer]...

Tonight Is The One Year Anniversary Of Bissinger Vs. Leitch
Last year at this time, our floppy-haired hero Emeritus was just coming off a wicked raisin binge for his big appearance on "Costas Now." Look how far we've come....

Dwight Howard Out For Game Six, Magicians Everywhere Mourn
Dwight Howard has been suspended one game for getting all elbow-y on Philly's Samuel Dalembert. (Rajon Rondo? It's all good!) I hope we all learned something valuable here. [Orlando Sentinel; Chicago Tribune; WFNY]...

Depressing Autographed Seat Cushion Is The Only Thing That Remains Of Stephen A.'s Career
I saw this this ungodly little tchotchke at Standings Bar in the East Village, one of the best places to watch sporting events in NYC. I tried to buy it for $40. The owner refused....

If You're Reading This Post, You Now Have Swine Flu
The state of Texas is postponing all of its high school sports activities (plus some nerdy stuff) in order to keep their filthy population from spreading the deadly pork-based flu virus. You may commence panicking....

So That's What They Mean By "Exploded"
Last night E:60 aired its segment on body builder Gregg Valentino's ridiculous steroid abuse. It's an old story, but that didn't stop ESPN from airing Valentino's famous arm-burst again. Warning: After-jump footage is gross....

Strawberry's Career Stats Include More Than 1,000 Vaginas
Darryl Strawberry claims he slept with more than 1,000 women. He also said the most ladies he's had at one time is three. Amateur! [Sports Radio Interviews]...

This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....

Red Sox'Owner John Henry Lets Boston Magazine Print His Lovelorn Emails To His Young Bride
Say what you will about Red Sox owner John Henry, he's a man who knows how to get what he wants. Fortune, fame, the Sox, Dice-K, and a woman 30 years younger than him....