pain Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Only A Matter Of Time Before An NFL Team's Financials Are Leaked
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Roger Goodell Is Going To Be A Big Baby About This Lockout Until The Very End
Yesterday we brought you the gripping tales of players showing up to training facilities, only to find nothing going on and heading home. But at least one team grew a pair for a few hours: the Giants not only let DT Chris Canty into the complex to work in the weight room, but he met with Tom Coughli...

Dear Roger Goodell: This Is What A Typical NFL Career Looks Like
Roger Goodell recently took to the pulpit to debunk the popularly held notion that an NFL player's career lasts 3.5 years. The truth, Roger says, is that if you make an opening day roster as a rookie, your career will last almost six years; if you get drafted in the first round, it's nine years; and...

Here's What Confused NFL Players Are Doing This Morning
Showing up to work out, some of them. Except not really working out. And the ones that arrived are either union guys checking the lay of the land, or players openly concerned about their workout bonuses. Mostly, players walked in, hung around for a couple of minutes then went home. Everyone's pretty...

The NFL Lockout Is Over, At Least For A Few More Minutes
A federal judge has granted the players an injunction against the league, effectively ending the lockout. As soon as the decision is made public, the owners plan to request a stay of the injunction, effectively re-starting the lockout. [ESPN]...

Ray Lewis Went To A Small North Carolina College To Talk About Spirits, Thunder, Cards And Whatnot
Tipster Jon R. reports that Ray Lewis "made an impromptu visit to Elon University for their spring football game last week and gave a very powerful speech. ... The game was actually postponed due to thunderstorms." Story moral: God hates people who listen to Ray Lewis giving very powerful speeches...

Callahan Breaks Ankle After Chara Shot; Rangers' Body Count Piles Up Again
This hurts to watch. In a 5-3 win over Boston last night, the kind of win that Rangers fans have dreamed of, the kind that eliminated Toronto from playoff contention and made it that much harder for Carolina to worm its way in, there was so much good. The Rangers scored five unanswered goals. It s...

Could The 2012 NFL Draft Become A Double Megadraft?!
I had to go an '80s-themed party with my wife on Saturday night. And I have no clue how they do this, but women always seem to have outfits for themed parties ready on their person at all times. "Oh, there's an '80s party? Let me just grab my oversized Esprit T-shirt, leg warmers, and hair crimper! ...

The Kentucky Wildcats Refused To Go Down Without A Fight Or An Internationally-Televised Nut Tap
Your morning roundup for April 3, the day it became clear that 16-year-old girls at meth labs hope you have rabies....

Purdue Is Sorry They Blamed Cheap Purdue Donors For Matt Painter’s Possible Departure
A day after sending out a letter that more or less blamed its boosters for men's basketball coach Matt Painter's meeting with Missouri officials, the Purdue athletic department sent out a hasty (or, as tipster and proud Mackey Challenge donor BigTenObsession calls it, "weaksauce") apology to its mai...

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....

Purdue Not-So-Subtly Blames Cheap Purdue Donors For Matt Painter's Possible Departure
Purdue head coach Matt Painter, who has led the Boilermakers to four straight 25-win seasons, is meeting with Missouri officials in Florida today to discuss their recently vacated head coaching job. The John Purdue Club is in a tizzy over his potential departure, even though this scenario seems more...

This May Be An Email Account Roger Goodell Only Gives Out To Important People
An anonymous tipster sends along this report:...

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....

Watch The 2010 NFL Season In Six Minutes, Since It's All We Really Have Right Now
NFL Films produced an incredible six-minute cut of the 2010 season that includes Tebow telling his sideline, "Only one person who carries the ball right here!" and then running it into the end zone. It's a great breakup movie. [NFL]...

If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...

The Giants' Season Ticket Amnesty And The Tyranny Of Good PR
This broke late last week, but we were too busy paying attention to actual sporting events to deal with it. But we're forced to now, because certain folks in the media won't shut up about how classy the New York Football Giants are for not requiring fans to make their season ticket payments while th...

LeBron James Turned The Atlanta Hawks Into The Cleveland Cavaliers For 12 Minutes
Your morning roundup for March 19, the day after it became wise to snatch a few domain names ending in ".xxx"....

Morehead State's Demonte Harper Just Knew He'd Send Rick Pitino Home As A Loser
Your morning roundup for March 18, the day the world braces for the biggest, brightest full moon in a while....