paris Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

PSG's Championship Parade Ended In Riots
Paris Saint-Germain celebrated their first Ligue 1 title in nearly two decades with a parade through the city. It concluded with the customary tear gas....


Professional Cyclists Crash Into Road Signs Too, Sometimes
Yoann Offredo would like a re-do. Yoan Offredo would have been better riding offroado. A guy on a bike hit a sign....

A Mad Genius Zlatan Ibrahimovic Fan Bought His Favorite Player's Domain Name, Will Give It Back If He Completes One Of Twelve Challenges
Paris Saint-Germain acquired the services of Zlatan Ibrahimovic from AC Milan over the summer, and since his old team confirmed that he'd be heading to the Paris club, "Ibrahimovic," reports UK's Metro, has been "rumoured to be looking to strengthen his marketing ties in France." That could conceiva...

Zach Parise And Ryan Suter Slip Through A Massive NHL Loophole, Before It Closes In A Few Months
The Minnesota Wild signed both Zach Parise and Ryan Suter yesterday, and more power to them. Hockey's always better when a Minnesota team is good. The formerly thrifty Wild already have the second-highest payroll in the league, but their salary cap hits won't be nearly as brutal as they ought to be....

The Minnesota Wild Land Zach Parise And Ryan Suter
As reported by the Star Tribune's Michael Russo, the Minnesota Wild have pulled off quite the NHL free agency coup. The team has agreed to terms on a 13-year contracts with defensman Ryan Suter and forward Zach Parise...

The Worst Summer Movies: The Ones Your Mom Will Like
Somewhere in the world, maybe in a dusty old rotting liberal-arts faculty lounge, maybe in the office where they make that McSweeney's-Grantland Quarterly thing, someone is really excited about The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It's a "light" comedy opening Friday that stars Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Ma...

Woody Allen Was Watching The NBA All-Star Game Instead Of The Oscars
Woody Allen won the Academy Award for Midnight In Paris, but it's not clear if he knows yet. Allen wasn't in the house to accept his award, because something much more important was going on:...

Oscar Week: Why <em>Midnight In Paris</em> Should Win Best Picture
Tim Grierson and Will Leitch will be writing regularly on Gawker and Deadspin about movies, starting this week. Yesterday and today, to wrap up the week, we're showering love on our favorite films that are up for Best Picture. Yesterday, Tim Grierson took up the case of The Descendants. Today: Will ...

The Lingerie Football League Hopes Michael Jackson's Daughter Will Help Develop "Future LFL Athletes"
Somehow, somebody at world headquarters of a football league with a fan base comprised, mostly, of dudes who like watching women in bra-and-sport-panties uniforms partake in jiggly rough-housing stroked their inspiration wand and chanted something to the tune of, "We can be an inspirational entity ...

Clint Dempsey Can't Stop Scoring Goals For Fulham
Last season, Clint Dempsey became Fulham's all-time leading scorer in the Premier League era. That's pretty impressive for an American. Or a human. Dempsey is already adding to his tally. He scored twice in today's Europa League match against Ukraine's FC Dnipro. (The first one in the video isn't ...

A List Of People To Whom The Internet Has Compared Kyle Singler
Some comparisons, culled from the Internet in advance of Kyle Singler's being drafted approximately one round too early tomorrow. Sic'd:...

Future Of French Open Site Spurs Most Pretentious Debate Ever
On Sunday, the 180 delegates of the French Tennis Federation will meet to decide the future of Roland Garros Stadium, which could change locations by 2016. This has fueled a wonderfully pretentious debate on the merits of the two possible outcomes: shall the century-old tournoi remain in posh wester...

Bernard Hopkins Wins, Loses And Draws In The Same Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Teenage Axl Rose Has A Mug Shot That, It Seems To Me, Reminds Me Of Childhood Memories
A few years ago, John Jeremiah Sullivan wrote a feature for GQ that was either a profile of Axl Rose as seen through the prism of Indiana or a profile of Indiana as seen through the prism of Axl Rose. In any case, it was great. The mug shot here is one of two Sullivan wheedled out of the Lafayette p...

I Was There...Being Paris Hilton's Manslave
Here's an unexpected submission. One of the young men selected to carry Paris Hilton during MTV's Cancun Spring Break shitshow emailed his experience and, I must say, it is something else....

"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....

Why Do Some Celebrity Sex Tapes Go Online?
"If you are seeing a sex tape on the Internet, it's either because the cease-and-desist letter is still in the mail, or, more likely, all parties have signed Consent Form 2257." [Esquire.com]...

Of WAGs And Witchcraft
A Spanish "witch" came forward to say he was paid to put a curse on Cristiano Ronaldo, causing his recent ankle injury. Suspect number one in the Spanish press: a jilted Paris Hilton. [Sport]...

Courtney Paris Bets Her Scholarship On A National Title
Oklahoma women's hoops star Courtney Paris is so confident that she can bring a national championship back to Norman, that she says she will pay back her entire college scholarship if she fails....