portland Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Valentine's Day Role-Playing Games Involving Public Nudity and Duct Tape Go Awry
"A Portland (Oregon) couple was jailed for disorderly conduct Tuesday after a role playing incident led witnesses to believe a woman was being held against her will in a car. ... Witnesses reported seeing a Subaru Legacy leaving the parking lot with a naked female who was tied up in the back with d...
This Greg Oden Knee Surgery Is Not Like Other Greg Oden Knee Surgeries
Yet another procedure on Greg Oden's 90-year-old knees, but this one has a surprise twist....
Not Fadeaway: Farewell To Brandon Roy's Perfect Step-Back
Brandon Roy retired from professional basketball last week, at the age of 27 and after just five seasons in the NBA. He has, he told the Portland Trail Blazers, "degenerative knees."...
The MLS Goal Of The Year Is Incredible For Any League
Remember the name Darlington Nagbe: it's a wonderful name. But also because the Liberian-born, Ohio-raised midfielder was the second overall pick in this year's MLS draft, and scored his first career goal for Portland on this amazing juggle and volley in July. Today it was named the MLS Goal of th...
At Least Arvydas Sabonis Can Still Have Sex
The Basketball Hall of Famer had a heart attack last week, and doctors told him he's going to have to change his lifestyle. "‘You can't smoke, you can't drink, you can't play basketball.' So of the things I like, only sex is left." [Blazers Edge, via TBJ]...
Report: Arvydas Sabonis Suffered A Heart Attack Today
There is a report that Arvydas Sabonis, the 46-year-old former Portland Trail Blazer from Lithuania, suffered a heart attack while playing basketball in Kaunas today. One translated report says that his condition is "very serious." [via @LithuaniaBasket]...
Soccer Fans In Portland Still Behaving Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza ...
Joey Harrington Hit While On A Bicycle In Portland
Former Lions and Dolphins quarterback Joey Harrington has now reached the nadir of his Portland days. He was hit from behind while biking....
Watch The Portland Timbers' Darlington Nagbe Charm A Ball Into A Goal
We like to bag on the Timbers over here, if only because it makes Timbers fans choke on their kelp noodles. But nobody will be speaking ill of this goal by rookie Darlington Nagbe, who sets himself up for a volley and a perfect strike. Patchouli!...
Portland Continues Mirthfully Torturing Fan Base, Will Offer Greg Oden One-Year Extension
The Portland Blazers are expected to make Greg Oden — the most easily-forgotten TMZ star of our time and the youngest veteran in the league — a restricted free agent with a $8.8 million qualifying offer for a one-year contract extension. With the offer alone, the Blazers will reserve the right to ma...
"Nate McMillan?" Said The NBA Prospect. "What College Is That?"
Your morning roundup for June 17, the day we got educated about obnoxiously-educated NYU students. Video of Blazers prospect at a Blazers workout not knowing who the Blazers coach is via Eye On Basketball....
Watch This Heroic Linesman Valiantly Try To Keep The Portland Timbers Undefeated At Home
Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the ...
Hungover Portlanders Rise From Their Organic Granola To Respond To Us
Here's Stumptown Footy's full post. To which we say: dude....
Portland Fans Are Too Hung Over To Cheer Properly
The surest sign that it was a good idea to give Portland an MLS franchise: their fans already have a collective drinking problem. The supporters group is turning teetotaler to keep from embarrassing itself again....
For Just $400,000, You Can Buy This Portland-Based Co-Ed Kickball Team
From Deadspin's Portland Bureau—tipster Scott—comes a rec league kickball story. Sorry. Keep in mind this Craigslist ad was originally all in caps:...
Blood On The Walls: Choice Bits From Blazers Owner Paul Allen's New Book
Paul Allen of Microsoft fame and fortune just published a memoir called "Idea Man." Chapter 14 is about the Blazers and basketball. In it, Allen claims that he beat Clyde Drexler and Kiki Vandeweghe in a game of HORSE. He says his friendship with The Glide affected his judgment and caused him to for...
Soccer Fans In Portland Behave Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
Look at all these throaty buggers backing MLS's new team — the Portland Timbers. The Timbers made their home debut last night. Portland fans got to sing the national anthem. So what if the Star Spangled Banner is the only song most Americans have at least some handle on that's not Top 40 dreck? (P...
Goodbye, Greg Oden
Another injury has taken another year from Greg Oden. We've put together this tribute to the creaky-legged giant. We wish him a speedy recovery....
Last Night's Winner: The Memory Of Sam Bowie
Greg Oden's done, which means we're consigned to another year of summoning the spirit of sad old Sam Bowie from whatever well he's fallen down. Anyone tempted to compare the two similarly star-crossed, but otherwise totally different players should consider the following:...
Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...