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The Really Perplexing Stuff: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
What would it actually take to get the NFL to break its weekly PR disaster cycle? Seriously. What would it take....
A Rotten, Rotten Week: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Woof. It might be hard to remember, now, that the NFL was having a rotten, rotten week before Deadspin uncovered the brutal details of why Greg Hardy was arrested for assaulting his ex-girlfriend....
A Good Day To Look Away: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Let’s take a quick glance around a week’s worth of NFL news before we get to the good stuff:...
The Abyss Looks Back: Your Guide To Ignoring Football Today
Gah. Another high school kid died from a football injury this week—the seventh of this football season. What the hell....
Ah, Uniform Violations: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
This was a lousy news week for the NFL on multiple fronts: a pending CTE investigation on a former player who died young from a painkiller overdose; a ref suspended for a clock screw-up that, but for a ballsy call and some very good luck, could have cost a team a game; Johnny Manziel finding his way...
The Weekly Thresher: Your Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Pictured: The average NFL team roster by Week 5....
A "Lifelong" Commitment, If Only Technically: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
So, the 2015 NFL Health and Safety Report opens with a message from Roger Goodell, in which the thumb-puppet-looking doofus proudly mentions the lifelong commitment the NFL makes to its players, specifically free comprehensive health and wellness screening made available to former players....
A Step In The Right Direction? Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
The NFL’s disciplinary process for on-field behavior made the news this week after Pacman Jones was fined but not suspended for what sure looked like criminal assault on Sunday. Everyone predicted a suspension—this is, after all, the NFL, where evidently 90 percent (or more) of the league’s PR strat...
It's Only Going To Get Worse: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
For those of you who are so inclined, this will be a fine time to stop watching the NFL. A great time, in fact. Maybe even the perfect time....
Puppy Bowl, Fish Bowl, Kitten Bowl: Counterprogramming The Super Bowl
The over/under for the number of households that will tune in to watch the Super Bowl tonight is 113 million. There has never been a larger event in the history of television. What I'm saying here is you don't have to be a fan of football to tune in. People who don't watch this Super Bowl will spend...
The Porn Movies You Could Be Watching Instead Of The Super Bowl
Most networks don't even bother attempting to program against the Super Bowl. But every channel has to air something, including your local cable provider's porn channels. Here's are the titles of porn movies airing on Time Warner Cable opposite the Super Bowl, according to today's TV Guide:...
Best. Vacuum. EVER: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Pro Bowl
It will be hard—achingly hard, if not nigh-impossible—for you, a committed sports fan, to divert your attention away from the luminous spectacle of competitive purity that is the 2015 NFL Pro Bowl, presented by McDonald's....
The Taxpayer Extortion Playbook: How To Ignore The NFL Playoffs Today
While all attention focuses on this afternoon's two championship games, the NFL is quietly and methodically running its taxpayer extortion playbook on the people of St. Louis. The Los Angeles trump card, the NFL's longtime key leverage in stadium negotiations, is being deployed with particular oomph...
Scary Movies Vs. Concussions: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL Playoffs
Frontline, the fine folks who brought you League of Denial, run a nifty little database called Concussion Watch, where they've kept a detailed count of all reported concussions across the NFL since 2012. You should check it out; it's interesting to click around and look at the recent history of conc...
Inconceivable Stupidity: Your Guide To Ignoring Today's NFL Playoffs
So the Mueller report was released this week, and ho-ho! Look how it confirmed the NFL's story, of never having been granted access to the tape from inside the elevator. Amazing! That's great news for the NFL....
Getting Screwed With Your Pants On: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Today
Even by dismal NFL standards, the Colts' stadium deal is fucking bullshit. There's Jerry Richardson using the same extortion mechanics behind public financing to secure "private" construction financing via Personal Seat Licenses, and then there's the Indianapolis Colts just screwing the whole godd...
Crazy-Ass Numbers Games: Your Guide to Ignoring the NFL Playoffs Today
Get a load of this shit, from the Carolina Panthers' own goddamn website, about Bank of America Stadium, where the Panthers will today host a sham of a playoff game they have absolutely no business participating in:...
Pink Elephants On Parade: Your Guide to Ignoring the NFL Today
What a day for football, you guys! Here's a rundown:...
The Profound Shittiness of ALS: Today's Guide to Ignoring the NFL
This week the Washington Post's Rick Maese published a harrowing, fairly devastating account of the recent hardships of former NFL fullback Kevin Turner, a leading plaintiff in the NFL concussion lawsuit, who is locked in a desperate battle with late-stage ALS....
Owners Suck: How To Ignore The NFL Today
At a certain point the question becomes this: Is there a labor group within the NFL that the owners are not willing to just brutally mistreat? Because this shit is getting ridiculous....