ray Page 139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for Kanye's leaked CD to download... • MLB: Texas Rangers at Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Pretend the Rangers are in contention and it might dull the pain. [ESPN2] • Tennis: U.S. Open After Dark. Pretty much the same as the daytime coverage, but it's on cable so anythin...

In America It's Deviant, In the UK It's Cheeky
It turns out that Wayne Rooney isn't Manchester's only star player with a serious jonesin' for the pros. I can hardly blame the guy for setting up an orgy, he must have a ton of pent up energy what with not playing due to suspension and all, but did the over-sexed superstar (/fuckhead) really have t...

The D-Rays Have Funk
In another of their amusing attempts to garner some positive publicity, the Devil Rays hosted '70s Disco Night at the Trop on Saturday. Of all the wacky scoreboard pictures, this one, and of course Delmon Young's, are our favorites....

Careful Where You Work Out, Shuttlesworth
Everything's hunky dory for Ray Allen these days. He's gone from being the lone stud on a lousy team to part of an axis powers of superstars for one of sports' most historic franchises. Things are looking up. Unfortunately, as he apparently realized recently, he's still a black athlete in Boston....

Wizards, They Love Them Hos
Good rule of thumb: When a professional athlete is arrested for solicitation of a prostitute, we are required to write about it, even if that athlete only average 3.7 points a game last year....

Barry In Tampa ... What Might Have Been
As we continue our plodding march toward "history," a march that has taken so long that we can't even keep up our outrage anymore, we consider what might have been....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while mourning the loss of Ingmar Bergman ... • Cycling: Alberto Contador wins Tour de France (pending urinalysis). • Motor sports: So Tony Stewart pretty much owns the Brickyard, eh? • MLB: That sound you hear is THE CUBS a half-game out of first!...

Remembering Harry Caray's Last Broadcast
The intrepid souls at Joe Sports Fan have dug up tape of the final game Harry Caray every broadcast. The game was September 21, 1997. So much has changed, but Harry was always the same....

Elijah Dukes' Divorce Proceedings, Shockingly, Are Getting Nasty
As you probably might expect, the wife of "troubled" Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is filing for divorce. (This tends to happen when you send your wife's cell phones photos of guns.) She has come up with some not-really-all-that-surprising accusations....

Look! NBA Draft Analysis!
Obviously, the Internets are gonna be buzzing all day today with draft analysis and all that dirty business, and everyone's gonna be telling you who the winners and losers were after a night where nothing other than the reading of names happened....

Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...

Elijah Dukes Continues To Bat 1.000
If you're a social worker who is considering a foster care applicaton, how could you not approve the couple who is related to Elijah Dukes? A 17-year-old girl who is in foster care with a relative of Dukes told the Tampa police that Dukes got her pregnant. The article goes on to say that Dukes will ...

Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...

Whatever Brings The Fans In From All The Great Weather
We appreciate that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, lacking that whole "fanbase" thing, are trying unconventional ways to rile up some local support. But no mascot, not even Raymond, should ever have to wear this outfit....

Your AL East "Preview"
All right, whether you're ready for it or not, baseball is starting Sunday night. (The Mets will watch the Cardinals raise their World Series title flag. The Cardinals won the World Series last year.) The full slate of games kick off Monday, so we figured it was time to start previewing some divisio...

Wait, Who's Teaching Whom Here?
You know, nothing is going to encourage kids to head out there and hit the books than an interactive reading session with Tampa Bay Devil Rays Shawn Camp and Rudy Lugo, particularly because each and every one of the kids is better at reading than Shawn Camp and Rudy Lugo. (Seriously, those SUPERSTAR...

The Devil Rays Suddenly Have A Fan
A couple of weeks ago, MJD told you about blogger Manny Stiles auctioning off his team loyalty, setting up an eBay auction (with proceeds going to AIDS research) for a bidder who would want him to write about his/her favorite team. It was a clever idea, and the bidding eventually reached $535....

These Guys Obviously Would Make Great Friends
With apologies to J.E. Skeets ......