rock Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Taste The Rockies, Losers! Taste Them!
The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card rac...
All Aboard The Rockies Freight Train
We don't know about the rest of you, but as the National League makes its mad scramble to the finish, with still no playoff spots secured, the team we're developing an emotional attachment to are the Colorado Rockies....
Ow! My Playoff Chances!
Has a major league player ever before been injured after he was ejected from a game? Come on Elias Sports Bureau, make yourselves useful for once! Milton Bradley may be headed to the DL because of an umpire, he says. It was manager Bud Black who grabbed Bradley and spun him to the ground, preventing...
Alston Polishing His Offseason Slash Moves
Remember when Rafer Alston was a feel good story, the streetball player nicknamed "Skip To My Lou" who transitioned his game to the NBA? Well, maybe not "feel good" — the guy did plead no contest in 1997 for assaulting his girlfriend — but certainly, it wasn't this bad, was it?...
Yao Ming's Fantasy Wedding
Rockets center Yao Ming got himself hitched yesterday — or today, or whatever the hell the time change makes the actual date — in front of 70 onlookers and about 100 media people hanging out in the lobby waiting for interviews. It must be so odd to have people wanting to interview you after your wed...
A Day Full Of The Rock On ESPN Classic
We always enjoy ESPN's movie cross promotions, if by "enjoy," you mean "die a little inside." For every move that makes sense — if you're gonna make us sit through "Who's Now?" you might as well have Jessica Biel host it — you have 10 that turn your stomach, like the clips from Johnny Depp movies du...
No Bonds For You!
As you may have noticed, Barry Bonds is being held out of the final game of San Francisco's series at Milwaukee (in progress). So it looks like he won't be making any progress towards Henry Aaron's prized record on my watch. Oh well, I'll just have to keep staring at my Arizona State throwback jerse...
China Will Not Make It Rain
This had been rumored for a while, but it appears the Chinese government is really going through with this: They're really going to try to control the weather during next year's Olympics using rockets....
Your Definitive RPS Report
We didn't have the opportunity to watch the big replay of the Rock Paper Scissors tournament over the weekend — what a grand three days of sports we have on tap this week! — but we were hoping that it was like competitive eating, in that there was a modicum of training and skill involved. According ...
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
He Wasn't A Paid Drug Dealer; He Was Just Volunteering
We like Florida head coach Urban Meyer for many reasons, not least of which is the fact that his first name describes a type of city. (We hope to someday name our child "Rural Juror Leitch.") But the reason we really love him is that EDSBS figures he believes if you kick a player off your team for s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you're done riding your zebra horse ... • NBA: Draft, at New York. Kevin Durant ... come on down! [ESPN] • Soccer: MLS, Colorado at D.C. United. Apparently they frown on the jersey exchange among fans. [ESPN2] • Golf: Nationwide Tour, Peek'n Peak Classic, first round, at Findley L...
Have You Heard About This Clemens Fellow?
Roger Clemens is making his 2007 baseball debut today for the Yankees at the Stadium. He will be paid roughly 1 jillion dollars* per start. (* - Rounding up.)...
Eye Of The Needle
We continue to find it a sublime irony that, today, Rocky Balboa is busted for steroids. Really, he is....
The Sad Tale Of Tracy McGrady
We were pleased to see former Illini Deron Williams and Dee Brown advance to the Western Conference semifinals with the Jazz's win over the Rockets on Saturday night, but it brought us no joy to see the likable and seemingly doomed Tracy McGrady fail once again to push his team out of the first roun...
The Houston Rockets Are Buried In Sadness
Tracy McGrady assumed full responsibility for the outcome before Houston's series against Utah, then went out in Game 7 and did the Yeoman's work and still came up short. Then, in the postgame press conference, he couldn't run from the responsibility and ended up walking away in tears (thanks to The...
Look, There Was Another Game On Thursday Night
Lest we forget, in all the Warriors hub-bub, that another series took a fun turn last night, with the Jazz tying the Rockets 3-3 with a 94-82 win in Utah. The key Jazz star was Andrei Kirilenko, who shined late despite, you know, crying like a little girl earlier this series because he wasn't gettin...