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Antonio Conte Is Going To Inter To Overthrow The Juventus Empire He Helped Create
The main challenge for the ambitious clubs of Italy is as evident as it is daunting: to try to bring an end to Juventus’s nearly decade-long Serie A reign. Things like qualifying for and making a run in the Champions League are important, as is success in the domestic cup. But all of it must be subs...

Spanish Soccer Team Celebrates Promotion With Awkward Postgame Strip Tease
With their season-capping win on Saturday, soccer club Esportiu Llançà won promotion from Catalonia’s third division (Spain’s seventh tier overall) to its second. To celebrate the team going up, one of the club’s board members arranged for a stripper to enter the locker room after the game and drop ...

A Fortunate Bounce Helped Virginia Beat Auburn For A Spot In The NCAA Tournament Final
The officials at last night’s Auburn-Virginia Final Four game missed a pretty big call and caused a controversial ending to a game that deserved a lot better, as college refs are wont to do. With less than a second remaining, Auburn’s Samir Doughty committed a worst-case-scenario error and fouled Ky...

Russian Soccer Fans Injured By Terrifying Escalator Malfunction
A warning: If you are going to find yourself on a crowded escalator or staircase at some point today and are prone to fits of anxiety, you should probably not watch this video from a metro station in Rome....

Cowboys Center Travis Frederick Announces Auto-Immune Disease Diagnosis
Dallas Cowboys starting center Travis Frederick, who’s been with the team since he was drafted in 2013, was battling nerve irritation ahead of this season, putting his availability in doubt. In a statement posted Wednesday on Twitter, Frederick clarified the details of his situation, revealing a dia...

Report: Celtics Assistant Coach Jerome Allen Allegedly Bribed By Accused Medicare Fraudster While At Penn
A Miami Beach business executive charged with running a billion-dollar Medicare fraud scheme allegedly bribed then-Quakers head coach and current Celtics assistant Jerome Allen to get his son admitted to the University of Pennsylvania, according to a new indictment reported by the Miami Herald:...

A Soccer Oaf's List Of The Best Soccer Things
Because it’s the most popular sport in the world and because the entire world is currently losing its collective shit about it, there is something forbidding about approaching soccer from the outside. There are many millions of people around the world who are so passionate about club teams that they...

Romelu Lukaku Is A Genius
More than any other soccer skill, positional awareness comes with the widest gulf between how important it is to a team’s success and how readily noticeable it is to the casual fan watching at home. This is partly due to the limitations of broadcast camera angles, and partly due to the fact that sma...

Eden Hazard And Romelu Lukaku Have Belgium Cooking With Gas
Goals have been hard to come by for most teams at the World Cup, but not for Belgium. The Red Devils added another blowout win to their tournament resumé today by plastering Tunisia by a score of 5-2. Once again the Belgian goalfest was led by their two star forwards, Eden Hazard and Romelu Lukaku, ...

Every Promising Tennis Player Must Own Tomas Berdych At Some Point<em></em>
At this point in time, Tomas Berdych is more useful as a benchmark for the progress of young people than as a tennis player unto himself. This is a little cruel, maybe, but it is not wrong....

Climate, Plague, And The Fall Of The Roman Empire
The Roman Empire in the west fell for a great many reasons. We could cite a lengthy series of breakdowns in its political structures, feckless leadership by a series of child-emperors and self-interested court officials, and aggressive and opportunistic barbarian groups. As the Empire fell apart, th...

Romelu Lukaku Did Not Leave Everton Because Of "Voodoo"
Farhad Moshiri, the majority shareholder of Everton, took some time at a shareholders’ meeting yesterday to explain, according to him, why his club could not convince former Toffee and current Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku not to leave last summer. Moshiri’s bizarre explanation—that Lukaku...

Romelu Lukaku Stretchered Off After Brutal Head-To-Head Collision
Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku was stretchered off the pitch early in the first half today after a nasty-looking head-to-head collision with Southampton centre back Wesley Hoedt. It didn’t look like much in real time, but the angle on this review shows the crown of Hoedt’s head squared up w...

Penn Scores 100 Points, Wins Fans Free Cheesesteaks
Penn achieved culinary satisfaction last night....

Horse Sues Ray Lewis Over Bourbon Mischief
According to a report from TMZ, Ray Lewis is being sued by a horse....

Ducks Forward Patrick Eaves Diagnosed With Rare Guillain-Barré Syndrome
Anaheim Ducks forward Patrick Eaves has been diagnosed with Guillain-Barré Syndrome, a rare condition in which the immune system attacks the body through the peripheral nervous system....

Why Didn’t The Eastern Roman Empire Fall?<em></em>
When the Roman Empire disintegrated over the course of the fifth century, only half of it actually fell, the western half. The eastern half of the Roman Empire would survive in one form or another for a thousand years....

USMNT Win 2-0 Despite El Salvador's Biting And Nipple-Tweaking
The USMNT cruised to a 2-0 victory in tonight’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal despite the fact that El Salvador repeatedly treated players like you might have treated your little brother....

The Loss Of Romelu Lukaku Is The Latest Failure Of Chelsea's Youth System
Kevin De Bruyne was irrelevant at Chelsea. At 20 years old, the midfielder was signed from Belgian club Genk for less than seven million pounds, and he proceeded to be a complete non-factor during his year-and-a-half stay. Despite a successful loan spell in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen, De Bruyn...

Manchester United And Everton Agree To £75 Million Transfer Fee For Romelu Lukaku
After a protracted courtship that featured rival Chelsea tabling their own unsuccessful bid, Manchester United and Everton have reportedly agreed to a £75 million transfer fee that will send Romelu Lukaku to Old Trafford. As part of the transfer, beloved Man Utd. striker Wayne Rooney will go to Ever...