run Page 122 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today in the Premiership...
• Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville s...
NCAA Pants Party: UNLV Vs. Georgia Tech
UNLV Runnin' Rebels (28-6) vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (20-11) When: Friday, 12:15 p.m. Where: Chicago...
UNLV Runnin' Rebels
1. Viva Las Vegas, baby. Where else can you see pregame introductions featuring fireworks and flames shooting out of the shot clock as players come out on a red carpet? The band plays "Viva Las Vegas" leading into the infamous Reeeee-bels chant, members of the dance team make showgirls look like dog...
Joe Darger Has Two Mommies (And A Crapload Of Siblings)
Curious, and fascinating story in The New York Times today: UNLV forward Joe Darger is the son of a polygamist father. He has 15 siblings, most of which go to all his games....
Today In The Premiership...
• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goal...
Britney Spears And Minor League Hockey; A Match Made In Heaven
We really don't know how to say this so we're just going to say it: The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League is offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their game on Saturday against the Manitoba Moose. (Terrorists throw down their weapons in disgust, give up)....
Today In The FA Cup...
• Bristol City 2-2 Middlesbrough. Balls of titanium on those Bristol City boys. The League One side faced a two goal deficit at halftime against the heavily-favored Premiershippers from Middlesbrough. Injury-riddled 'Boro got first half goals from Aiyebgeni Yakubu and Malcolm Christie, but Bristol C...
Horses Get Their Goose On
Controversy continues to shake the world of horsies who run fast. A Nebraska veterinarian is accused of injecting horses with vodka, I assume because it seems like a colossal waste of vodka, because I can't imagine why anyone would give a damn about horses being injected with vodka....
Wooo!!!!!!! Roll Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!
You might have noticed, when Nick Saban, officially the new Guy Who Is Everything Wrong With Sports (at least until next week, when we've forgotten about all this business), arrived in Alabama, an enthusiastic fan fought through the crowd and planted one right on the guy. (Saban, ever cool, took the...
Vancouver Ready To Welcome More Weird-Ass Olympic Events
We had a crazy dream last night. The IOC was making up Winter Olympic sports, and approving them in their meeting in Kuwait City. Yeah we know, off the wall. But ... huh? You're kidding. Skicross?...
The Familiar Story Of The Oppressed Crocheting Running Back With The Collapsed Lung
In a November 11th game against San Jose State, Boise State running back Ian Johnson suffered a collapsed lung and cracked ribs. And just in case the young man's spirits weren't low enough, the NCAA decided to stop in and take away his main source of income, which happens to be crocheting hats and s...
The Fast And The Furious
We know that the 49ers are officially back as contenders, because one of their players was arrested on Sunday night on reckless and drunken driving charges. Just hours after the team's win over the Seattle Seahawks, wide receiver Antonio Bryant was taken into custody after his Lamborghini was seen s...
Today In The Premiership...
• Sheffield United 1-2 Manchester United. Wayne Rooney put Manchester United on his back today and earned them a crucial 2-1 victory over Sheffield United. Sheffield led after a goal in the 13th minute, but a couple of clean Rooney strikes gave the Reds the win. I don't think Rooney's performance ...
Today In The Premiership...
Today feels like a fine day to celebrate the legacy of Sir Alex Ferguson. As of Monday, he will have been Manchester United's manager for 20 years, and Guardian Unlimited has this list of his best all-time quotes. I'll be honest, in half of them, I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I ...
Please, Sir, Keep The Gutteral Utterances To Yourself
This is Al Argibay, and he has a goatee and, we presume, walks around making this arm motion all day. And he's pissed, because he was just thrown out of his gym for grunting too loud....
Will a Picture of a Drunk QB Shut You Up For a Little While?
I know, I know, you miss Will. Believe me, so do I. In the interests of moving us a little closer to the goal line, here's a drunken athlete photo: It's Giants QB Eli Manning, although whether or not his expression here is one of inebriation or, you know, the default genetic Manning visage is a ques...
Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 1-1 Tottenham. The day could've been so much worse for Juan Pablo Angel. Instead of missing the net on a penalty kick, three minutes later heading one into his goal, losing the game, and ending up in the trunk of a hooligan's car with his head wrapped in duct tape and his shoes on fi...
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 1-0 Sheffield United. It's Jimmy Bullard's world. You just live here. After scoring the game winner for Fulham against Bolton earlier in the week, Jimmy Bullard singlehandedly carried Fulham to victory over Sheffield United. Bullard also leads the league in pretty hair curls and weirdfuck p...
Marathon Man
Sometime during the night not long ago, Dean Karnazes sat bolt upright in bed and exlaimed: "Fifty marathons in fifty days ... in all fifty states! That's it!" Unfortunately, there was no one there to humanely smother him with his own pillow, and so here we are....
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 5-1 Fulham. A little bit of order was restored after a couple of unlikely draws during yesterday's play. Up first, Man United notched five goals against a Fulham defense that's described in the BBC article as "shambolic," a word that isn't used nearly enough. Wayne Rooney and C...