run Page 123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...

Today In The Premiership...
• Ruud Van Nistelrooy liked Germany so much that he wants to go back. Ruud wants his next season to be with Bayern Munich of the German Budesliga. Real Madrid had previously made a bid to acquire Van Niistelrooy, but it was rejected by Manchester United. I'm not ruling out the possibility that the...

Wayne Rooney Has A Book
England and Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has penned an autobiography. And even though he's just 20 years old and doesn't look like the brightest guy around, I find the fact that Rooney has an autobiography way less ridiculous than the fact that Terrell Owens has two. Some tidbits from Wa...

Hit One in the Handicap Section
So, the odds on the Home Run Derby have been released by venerable betting gurus Covers. Favorites for the derby include Fightin's swatting sensation Ryan Howard (+540), Big Papi (+530), Lance Berkman(+530). Underdog collars go to Jermaine Dye(+1130) and Troy Glaus (+1116)....

Todd Sauerbrun Gets Suspended for Fat Kid Pills
The Denver Broncos Todd Sauerbrun will most likely face a one month suspension after his pee -pee test revealed that he had dietary supplement Ephedra in his system. As you may remember, Ephedra was a popular drug used to curb people's appetites, speed up their metabolism, and, oh yeah, possibly k...

He ... Could ... Go ... All ... The ... Way!
OK, we haven't officially done athlete run-ins for a while now, but this is too great. Besides, it doesn't technically involve an athlete. We just heard this story yesterday and will not let another hour go by without sharing, because it must be out there, in its glory, hidden no longer. This was to...

I Think It's Time Eddie Sutton Had A Reality Show
Police in Stillwater have obtained video footage of Eddie Sutton urinating in public. On a middle school. With a bottle in his hand. Oh dear....

We Could Learn A Thing Or Two About Loutish Behavior From The Brits
We Americans get so cute sometimes with our little disagreements in the stands at NBA games, and our occasional guy who runs onto the field to take the football from Brett Favre. Meanwhile, in England, they're doing things like this:...

Just How Drunk Was Eddie Sutton?
Well, he blew a .22. To figure out how many drinks per hour that is, first, we have to take a guess at the man's weight. Now, I've been fired from my job trying to guess people's weight at the carnival three or four times, so I'm not very good at it. But if we guess an even 200 pounds, consuting ...

Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 7-0 Middlesbrough. Holy Lord. 7-0? Did they let Arsenal use their hands? Man, there's real chance that Arsenal outscores the Chicago Bears this weekend. In fact, Thierry Henry might outscore the Bears himself, as he scored three of the seven....

Athlete Run-In: How James Posey Is Like Ice Cream
A little bonus athlete run-in story for you today, about Heat swingman James Posey (who, inexplicably, is dominant for us for Miami on NBA Live 06). It comes to us from Erik G:...

Athlete Run-In: Marcus Fizer's Lack Of Ones
We know we said we were gonna take some time off from the athlete run-ins, but it's the Thursday before Christmas, the wireless here is spotty (but the coffee's surprisingly good) and we want to get home early so we can be made fun of by our uncles for our hair. So here's a bonus athlete run-in st...

Today In The Premiership...
I don't know a whole lot about soccer, but I'm trying to learn... and I'm dragging you along with me, kicking and screaming....

Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...

Athlete Run-In: El-Amin And His Sandwich
We always loved former Connecticut point guard Khalid El-Amin, because we always like point guards who are shorter than us yet still weigh more. Today's first athlete run-in story is about our man Khalid. It comes from Eric in New Hampshire....

Athlete Run-In: On Call For Antonio
Today's final athlete run-in story comes to us from Madison, Wisc., via comedian Nick Mortensen, and it must be true, because in the first sentence, he confesses he was a cheerleader in high school. It's about former Packer wide receiver Antonio Freeman....

Athlete Run-In: The '72 Dolphins Get Even More Desperate
Today's first athlete run-in story is timely because it concerns a retired player on a team that's in the news right now: The 1972 Dolphins. You know, those guys who hang on to being the only undefeated team like they cured polio or something? Kind of a sad group. It therefore didn't surprise us t...

Roy Keane Does The Celtic Jig
Famed Manchester United Hero-In-Exile Roy Keane has signed with Celtic until 2007, a move that could further signify the end of the Manchester United era. Our soccer expert chimes in with a report:...

Athlete Run-In: Kirk Hinrich, Gryffindor
Today's second — that is to say, final — athlete run-in story is about a guy we probably misidentified yesterday: Bulls point guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook site is probably not actually this site. But anyway, this story, well, this story might not be true either, but you knew that already. Bu...

Athlete Run-In: The Mystery Of The Mustache
Today's first athlete run-in story answers a question we've had for a long time: Has Don Mattingly ever not had that mustache? (We were scared enough when Bruce Bochy shaved his.)...