santa Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finnish Soccer Announcer Blows Gasket When Team Scores, Wins Promotion
There is no sweeter song extolling the virtues of a promotion fight than this Finnish announcer's guttural screams of pure delight after FC Santa Claus scored the deciding goal, guaranteeing them a spot in the third tier next season. Quick, someone give Fox Soccer this guy's number....

Fan Tries To Catch Home Run With Beer; Fan With Glove Gets It Instead
Turns out, it's easier to catch a ball with a glove than a plastic cup full of Bud Light. Still, I've watched this and the video a whole lot, and I can't figure how it happened....

Spanish Soccer Team Refuses To Play In Wages Protest
The protest of Racing Santander, in the third tier of Spanish soccer, was fairly attention-getting, as far as these things go. After kick-off of their Copa del Rey quarterfinal, players huddled arm-in-arm and refused to play, while coaches and substitutes did the same along the touchline....
![[UPDATE: Bullshit] Santa And His Helper Crash Sleigh, Could Face Drunk-Driving Charges](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wsr6t1fjet6wj1me3ggx.jpg)
[UPDATE: Bullshit] Santa And His Helper Crash Sleigh, Could Face Drunk-Driving Charges
Update (10:05 a.m. June 12, 2015): BuzzFeed has a good story about how this report was total bullshit. The original post is below....

D.C. Santa Claus Shot With Pellet Gun In Front Of TV Crew
Here's some horrible footage from Washington, D.C. station WJLA. The ABC affiliate was covering a toy giveaway in the southeast side of the city when somebody shot Santa Claus in the back. ...

We Have Found The Worst Thing On The Internet
Some guy kept pestering us to post this, presumably in hopes that it would go "viral." Well, it certainly deserves to. Help this guy out, Internet....

Drunken SantaCon Brawl Features Six Santas
For the unfamiliar, SantaCon is a holiday bar crawl in which bros dress up like Santa and get shitfaced. When SantaCon winds down and Santas have imbibed more than they can handle, a pedestrian can usually witness Santas puking, sleeping or—in this case—fighting. So get that warm, fuzzy holiday feel...


Soccer Team Forgets Uniforms, Plays In Counterfeits Off The Street
Soccer team Independiente Santa Fe traveled this weekend to play Boyacá Chicó in a Colombian Primera A match. Everything was peaches until Santa Fe arrived to the stadium. That's when they realized they forgot their away kits. ...

Holy Shit, Look At Jay Mariotti's Shoes
This picture comes to us from a reader who spotted Jay with a lady friend outside of the Club Monaco clothing store in Santa Monica, Calif., yesterday. Our tipster tells us that that Jay was "slumped on a bench" wearing a "sad/pouty look on his face" before his companion emerged and led him inside t...

Bro Rolls Two-And-A-Half Pound Joint, Gets It Confiscated By The Cops
If you're ever going to roll a two-and-a-half pound joint, I guess 4/20 at UC Santa Cruz is the day to do it. Also, "butthurt" is a term that we are wary of throwing around, but that bro is the definition of butthurt. ...

Johan Santana's Mets Career Is Over
Johan Santana is done. He has another capsule tear, the same shoulder injury that sidelined him for all of 2011. He'll make the final decision this weekend whether to undergo surgery, the same surgery he had in Sept. of 2010, but this isn't the sort of thing that gets better with rest. He'll go und...

Taste Test: Three Weird Santa Candies That Want To Murder You
Our cultural affinity for eating crumbly effigies of supernatural holiday icons (the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ) only seems weird and slightly unsavory until you consider that we're trying to absorb their mystical powers into ourselves, and then it makes perfect sense. Who wouldn't want...

Santa Fired For Telling A 3-Year-Old The Maple Leafs Suck
Here it is, the best thing to come out of Toronto since this picture of Rob Ford drunk. A mall Christmas market Santa traumatizing the very first child on line to meet him....

No, That Was Not The Largest Contract In Mets History: Ruining Everyone's Fun Through Inflation Adjustment
Remember in 2009 when Avatar made, like, $760 billion, and you were all like, "Holy shit, Avatar just made the most money of all time!" And then your dick movie-geek friend told you that, adjusted for inflation, Avatar was actually just the 14th-highest grossing movie of all time? And the highest wa...

The A's Just Released Dallas Braden
Braden threw a perfect game in 2010. He's now looking for a job. Armando Galarraga threw a would-be perfect game in 2010. He got dumped by the Astros. Phil Humber threw a perfect game in April, and he might get nontendered. Johan Santana threw a no-hitter in June and had his worst-ever season before...

Here's Video Of That UC Santa Barbara Soccer Player Shoving A Referee
This much was certain yesterday: Peter McGlynn, a senior defender for the UC Santa Barbara men's soccer team, had done something to harm an official after first earning both yellow and red cards during the Gauchos' overtime loss to UC Davis. As we told you last night, McGlynn was taken from the fi...

A UC Santa Barbara Soccer Player Was Handcuffed On The Field And Removed From A Game For Punching A Referee
Either during overtime or directly after a loss to UC Davis today, UC Santa Barbara defender (and one-time Second Team All-Big West selection) Peter McGlynn punched a referee that had just tossed him from the game. One early account said McGlynn punched the head official after a 2-1 overtime loss, a...