sgu Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The MLB Playoffs<em></em>
Hey, it’s finally baseball season! Pitchers pitchin’! Catchers catchin’! Bats crackin’! Batters scratchin’! Now I know every loves a little taste of summer training, but now they start playing games that count! [Mel Allen voice] How about that?...

Mets Prospect Makes Incredible Nonchalant Catch Of Flying Bat
This is...maybe the coolest thing I’ve ever seen a human being do?...

The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President. Russia has hacked all of our phones and is actively watching us masturbate. And every public school is going to teach your kids that gay people come from the fucking moon. These are ...

Wow! Look Upon Colby Rasmus's Beard, And Puke<em></em>
There’s no polite way to say this: These photos of Colby Rasmus are the worst thing I’ve ever seen....

You're No Joey Julius
Derrius Guice made Louisville kicker Blanton Creque regret every part of this tackle attempt....

The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers ...

The Hot Fucking Stove Is Now Happening
Welcome to our first Hot Stove in Trump’s America, where, unlike the rest of Trump’s America, the men getting rich will actually deserve it....

Poorly Disguised Theo Epstein Takes In Cubs Game From The Bleachers
The Chicago Cubs are currently playing the Milwaukee Brewers at Wrigley Field, and some fans noticed that they happened to be sitting in the same section as a guy who looks a lot like Cubs GM Theo Epstein....

The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...

About That Distraught Thunder Fan Video
We’ve been sent the above video—purporting to be of a Thunder fan rightfully panicking over Steph Curry having the ball in his hands at the end of Saturday’s thriller—a few times now, so let’s nip it in the bud: it’s hilarious but it’s not real. The real one is even better....

The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...

Those Jamokes In Oregon Aren't Terrorists, They're Jamokes
The American political lexicon has an appropriate word for the armed men conspicuously loitering in part of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge instead of going home. It is not terrorist or militia or occupation or revolution or movement or front or army or resistance. The word is jamoke. “Get...

The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have terrible news for you, America. I know that you’ve already endured a harsh autumn of partisan politics and mass tragedies and inconsistent NFL officiating. I know you can’t handle one more goddamn piece of bad news right now. It’s too much. It may break your spirit entirely. But I have to do ...

Smoking In Public Was A Lot Easier In The '80s
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we talked VCRs; today, we’re discussing smoking etiquette....

Classic Man: "The Great Thing About VCRs"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed STDs; today, we’re talking home entertainment....

Classic Man: Regarding Clap, Herpes, And Other Penalties
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we covered sweat lodges; today, we’re talking sexually transmitted diseases....

Classic Man: A Sweat Hut Can Kill You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we talked about sharpening axes; today, we’ve moved on to sweat lodges....

Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....

Classic Man: "Don't Mess With A Bear"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we touched on how to deal with going bald; today, we’re talking bear alarms....

Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness....