sgu Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brad Marchand Misses Two Wide-Open Nets
Brad Marchand has to be feeling very lucky about the fact that his Bruins came away with a 3-2 victory in last night's Game 4 against the Red Wings, otherwise he would be having a very, very bad day today....
Confessions Of A Nail-Biter
My mom suspended her college education in order to have kids, and so I was five years old when she finally received her bachelor's degree. We drove down to her school for a tasteful graduation luncheon. I remember they had free soda. At some point, while my mom was mingling with her classmates, I...
The 2014 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Oh hey, the Oscars are on Sunday night! And congratulations to America’s celebrities for enduring another painfully long and arduous awards season. YOU POOR THINGS! Being shuttled from red carpet to red carpet, forced to wear nice clothes, asked the same dumb questions over and over again (“How’s...
Here's A Swiss Ski Fan Humping A Giant Bell
Can't say this is a technique that I've ever seen before....
Olympic Skier Gus Kenworthy Found All The Puppies
Gus Kenworthy was hanging out in the Olympic village yesterday when he happened upon a stray puppy, just one of the many that have been spotted in Sochi. The doggie he found was very cute....
The Hater's Guide To The Sochi Olympics
Greetings, comrade! And welcome to the 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia! Thank God that Vladimir Putin has restored Russia to its rightful place as America’s enemy and foil. (Russia: We Don’t Even Pretend We’re A Democracy Anymore!™) Russians are white and live inside a distinct national ...
Steve Spurrier Is In Disguise
"Steve who? Spurrier? Nope, no idea who that is. Sorry, I'm Barry Alvarez. Clearly not the guy you are looking for."...
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have a house and, like most houses, it’s an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old clothes and shoes exploding out of the laundry room, which doubles as a storage room because we don’t have a storage room. The walls in our bedroom are bare because we haven’t had tim...
An Interview With Richie Incognito, Italian Teenager
Because we don't work out with Richie Incognito, we weren't able to land him for an interview. So we did the next best thing: We spoke with 17-year-old Richie Incognito, a student from Varese, Italy, and asked him his feelings on the Dolphins imbroglio....
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Top 25
This is it, everyone. This is the last year of college football shooting itself in the foot with a shitty, underwhelming BCS national title game. Come next season, the sport will institute a playoff, and with that, a whole new era of college football shall begin. With better games! And even craz...
Cubs-Padres Gives Us Most Cubs-Padres Play Possible
If you're keeping score at home—we're talking about a late-August Cubs-Padres game that took 15 innings to complete, so you likely weren't—this one goes down as a fielder's choice, E3. But for a full appreciation of all of the fail involved here, be sure to scroll through this short checklist of der...
Chad Curtis Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Three Teen Girls
A jury in Barry County, Mich., needed only a few hours of deliberations to find former MLB outfielder Chad Curtis guilty of six counts of criminal sexual conduct against three teenage girls....
Terrence Jones Arrested After Allegedly Stomping On Homeless Guy
Rockets forward Terrence Jones is apparently that guy after leaving the bars at closing time....
Here's Manny Ramirez Disguised As Your Grandmother At The Airport
Having a former Taiwanese baseball star like Manny Ramirez as a teammate must be pretty cool for all involved with the Triple-A Round Rock Express. That said, now that he's barnstorming it back in the states, Manny's gonna get noticed, especially whenever he wears his usual getup. Good thing his fel...
Tennis Player Has Cameraman Help With Epic Tirade Against Chair Umpire
This video of Viktor Troicki's meltdown at the Italian Open goes on for four minutes, but be sure to watch it from beginning to end. It just keeps getting better and better....
The Hater's Guide To Other Parents
I am not the greatest parent in the world. In fact, I wrote an entire book coming out today that indisputably proves that statement. I have been arrested. I have yelled at my children. I have experimented with odd forms of corporal punishment. And I have conspired with my children to commit petty mi...
The Lover's Guide To The NCAA Tournament
There is no finer harbinger of spring than the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. Often, the planets will align and you will find that the first day of the tournament also happens to take place on one of the first legitimately warm days of the spring, which allows you to drink outside for the fir...
The Percy Harvin Trade Is Great News For Football And Horrible News For Me
Percy Harvin is headed to Seattle. Let's deal with this news, first with reason and then with angry, drunken homerism....
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year’s Oscars will be “song-and-dance heavy,” which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That ...