shawn Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LaShawn Merritt Was Trying To Get Bigger, In One Of Two Ways
The Olympic gold medalist failed a doping test, because, he says, he took a "male enhancement" product. We don't really believe that, as a giant cock would wreck a runner's wind resistance, and make a mess of the baton handoff....
DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....
Last Night's Winner: True Love
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just better than others. Like Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila who settled their mutual lawsuits against each other. I always knew those kids' lawyers would work it out someday....
Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....
Gilbert Arenas Is Not A Political Prisoner
DeShawn Stevenson gave over valuable ankle tape space, and fans brought signs reading "Free Gil" for today's game. It's the only evidence in the building he ever existed. We've always been at war with Eastasia....
Marshawn Lynch Is All About The Jacksons
We thought quiet little Buffalo would be good for the troubled Lynch. We thought wrong, as the RB couldn't avoid the criminal breeding grounds of the T.G.I. Friday's at the mall, where he's accused of stealing $20 from a woman....
Tila Tequila Not Finished With Shawne Merriman Yet
The D.A. wouldn't prosecute Merriman for assaulting the TV "personality," but she can still sue him for assault, battery, false imprisonment and emotional distress. Oh, you better believe you haven't heard the last of this. [TMZ]...
Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching
Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun]...
September: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from September, ranked low to high....
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department (UPDATE)
Jayhawk guard Tyshawn Taylor suffered a dislocated thumb during a brawl between KU basketball and football players in front of the student union. I bet the dispute had something to do with evolution....
Charles Barkley Actually Makes Pretty Good Point About Shawne Merriman
If there's one thing Sir Charles knows, its where to pick up classy women. His advice to Merriman: "Dude, you're one of the best football players in the world; don't get your women off of reality TV" [Sports By Brooks]...
Derrick Mason's Response To Keyshawn's Raven-Bashing: "You're The Bum!" (UPDATE)
Gifted trash talkers as they are, Keyshawn Johnson and Cris Carter's insults do not always prove true. After shitting all over Baltimore's offense by calling Joe Flacco "a bum," the Ravens exploded Sunday and fired back at the analysts....
Shawne Merriman Will Not Face Criminal Charges for the Tila Tequila Incident
A San Diego judge has ruled that no charges will be filed against Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for allegedly choking and restraining notorious internet trollop Tila Tequila....
Out-Of-Context Quotes Make Shawne Merriman Look Pretty Guilty
"I've been able to knock somebody out....I must have split personalities....I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]...
Choose Your Side In The Great Tequila-Merriman Twitter War
Shawne Merriman wants an internet hug. Tila Tequila would like to teach the world about "roid rage." It's all part of their strategy to win the public relations battle by taking their domestic dispute online....
Shawne Merriman Knows How To Beat A Lady (UPDATED)
San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested last night after allegedly roughing up his girlfriend, noted internet person Tila Tequlia. Way to start the season strong, buddy....
The Ongoing Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Last summer, I did a story about Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews and his self-diagnosed depression issues, but after a recent odd locker room outburst in front of reporters, I'm a little more convinced he's got some major problems....
Chargers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Yes, It's For A Completely Different Individual, Who's Not Me
"My grandson is 'in love' with Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gymnast. Do you know where I could get an 8 by 10 picture or poster of her?" [Cape Cod Times]...