stern Page 65 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of Bryant Gumbel Calling David Stern A "Modern Plantation Overseer" On HBO's Real Sports Last Night
"His moves are intended to do little more than show how he's the one keeping the hired hands in their place." [The Basketball Jones, via Pro Basketball Talk]...

David Stern's "Gut" Is Ruining Christmas For Everyone
The games that you will probably not be watching on Christmas this year are Celtics-Knicks, Heat-Mavs, and Bulls-Lakers, because even though it is only mid-October, the NBA lockout has already ruined Christmas for that small group of people for whom Christmas is about watching three over-hyped NBA g...

The Delayed Start Of The NBA Season Gets The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
In Taiwanese animators's perception of the current NBA lockout, commissioner David Stern wields a chainsaw, cries when the Detroit Pistons flat-line in a hospital bed, guards Derek Fisher and gay marries Time Warner Cable. Also, LeBron James wears a lil-boy crown and gets shattered-backboard dunke...

The NBA Lockout Caused Two Cameramen To Fight In Traffic
We all have our low points. If we are lucky, those low points are not caught on camera and then shared across The Internet. These two men—reportedly cameramen who were waiting out the NBA negotiations last night—were not so lucky. Here they are, assuming the boxing stances they learned from their ...

Illinois LB Jonathan Brown Checked If The Coast Was Clear Before Kneeing A Foe In The Balls Today
"During the first half of today's Illinois/Northwestern game, Illinois linebacker Jonathan Brown clearly looks around to see if anyone is watching before kneeing Northwestern offensive lineman Patrick Ward in the groin. Of course, with 65,000 people, eleven opposing players and five refs - one of ...

Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

A Case Study In Why You Shouldn't Share An Email Address With Your Lovely Wife
Tipster Matthew D. recently shared details of what happened when a guy named Christian dropped out of their fantasy football league. All participants are from the PA/NJ/NY area but for Christian, who's from Seattle. "Only one of us has had the privilege of meeting him in person," Matthew pointed ou...

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

Is Baseball To Blame For The Pathetic State Of Pie Throwing?
So some dope interrupted the Murdoch family's stammering and mumbling today by "throwing a pie" at Rupert Murdoch, which actually meant waving a styrofoam plate in Murdoch's direction as some sort of foam slid off it, till Mrs. Rupert Murdoch jumped up and clobbered the "pie" guy....
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

Rejoice: Recently Cancelled Glenn Beck Joins Forces With MLB's Media Arm
Glenn Beck and Fox News recently announced that his show there was ending. Aw, said few. Beck plans on launching his own multiplatform media network after Fox, and word came today that the good folks at MLB Advanced Media would stream the video....

The NBA Will Not Bother Waiting Until Season's End To Have Its Ugly Labor Battle
David Stern is a brisk, exacting businessman. He's always ahead of the curve in sports management. So neither he nor the NBA Players' Association really wants to wait for the CBA to expire (or for the playoffs to end) to have their inevitable lockout and legal pissing match....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Neither the San Jose Sharks nor the Vancouver Canucks have won the Stanley Cup. Ever. Hell, the Sharks haven't even been to the finals. But first team to beat the other four times will fight for it against either Boston or Tampa Bay, who have both won it before. (And just like that, you have the fi...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Depending upon when you read this, game one of the Eastern Conference Finals is just about to start, has already done so or did so long ago. Which means you either have no idea, are finding out or long ago learned whether the Tampa Bay Lightning or Boston Bruins are leading the series. Tense action...

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

Tim Donaghy Has A Theory On Danny Crawford And The Mavericks
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: what Donaghy thinks of the refereeing so far in these playoffs. Cubes won't like this one....

Blood On The Walls: Choice Bits From Blazers Owner Paul Allen's New Book
Paul Allen of Microsoft fame and fortune just published a memoir called "Idea Man." Chapter 14 is about the Blazers and basketball. In it, Allen claims that he beat Clyde Drexler and Kiki Vandeweghe in a game of HORSE. He says his friendship with The Glide affected his judgment and caused him to for...

Will The NBA Be Fined For Breaking Its Own Rules In Fining Kobe Bryant?
David Stern hit Kobe Bryant with a $100,000 fine on Wednesday after Bryant called a referee a "fucking faggot" the night prior. Jeremy Singer-Vine at Slate determined that Kobe's fine is unprecedented in NBA history. In fact, it probably violates the NBA's own constitution:...

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....