swan Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Liverpool Score One Of The Most Ridiculous, Hilarious Goals Of The Year
Łukasz Fabiański wishes he had this one back, as the Swansea keeper's attempt to clear the ball instead found its target of Liverpool midfielder Adam Lallana's chest, against which it ricocheted directly into Swansea's goal....

Wayne Routledge Scores With A Beautiful Chest-High Volley
Mmmmm, this contorted, leaping volley from outside the box by Swansea City's Wayne Routledge is just delicious. How did he get his foot so high?...

Swansea City's Jonjo Shelvey Scores On Mid-Field Blast
In the first half at Liberty Stadium this morning, Swansea City's Jonjo Shelvey scored from just inside the center circle against Aston Villa. A misfired ball from Ron Vlaar wound up right in front of Shelvey as keeper Brad Guzan was trying to get back to the goal. Shelvey fired a rocket over the r...


No, There's Not A Ski Jumper Named Cunty Spunkfuckshitpiss
Because the British have a notoriously elegant sense of humor, they've been quite taken with the names of Olympians like luger Semen Pavlichenko and ski jumper Andreas Wank. Wait 'til they get a load of this guy....

Be Amused. Be Very Amused. <em>You're Next</em>, Reviewed.
1. You're Next is officially a horror movie—it is sold the way all horror movies are sold these days, with an ominous poster image and an appealingly simple, self-sustaining premise—but it's really a comedy. It is a comedy in the way Army of Darkness is a comedy, or The Cabin in the Woods is a comed...

Althea Gibson and Robert Lipsyte's Forgotten Bookmark
My friend Michael Popek owns a used bookstore and runs a site called Forgotten Bookmarks, devoted to the things he finds in old books. The site did so well Michael published a book of the same name. (Check out this Q&A we did in 2011 and this profile of Michael by Shannon Firth.)...

<em>The Conjuring</em> Is Old-School Terrifying
The Conjuring didn't literally scare the piss out of me, but it was close, and all told, there might have been a dribble or two....

Picture This: Little Leaguers Want Their Pants
Most everyone who has ever played a sport — even those of us who never played at a level beyond, say, high school basketball, football, baseball, soccer — most of us can recall at least one time, before a game, when everything just felt right. Maybe there was something in the air, or there was a loo...

Man Dribbling Soccer Ball From Seattle To Brazil Gets Hit By Car, Dies
Richard Swanson, 42, planned to dribble a soccer ball from Seattle, Washington to Brazil. He started two weeks ago, on May 1, and was headed to Sao Paulo in time for the 2014 World Cup. Today, he was hit by a pickup truck while walking south on US Highway 101, in Lincoln City, Oregon. Swanson was de...

Non-English Team Wins English Cup
Today, Welsh soccer club Swansea City beat down Bradford City 5-0 to take home the Football League Cup, a biggish, semi-relevant tournament held in England every year....

<em>Charles Swan</em> Will Make You Hate Charlie Sheen All Over Again
It always struck me as so strange that Oliver Stone, when he was making his name with Platoon and Wall Street, saw Charlie Sheen as his ideal everyman, the audience representative, the proxy, the innocent surrounded by the rot and corruption Stone sees around every corner. Even then, before the drug...

Chelsea's Eden Hazard Kicks Ballboy, Is Sent Off From League Cup Semifinal Match
If you thought a League Two side making it to the League Cup final would be the weirdest thing to happen in the semifinals of the Capital One-sponsored English football competition, you'd be wrong. Chelsea, facing a 2-0 aggregate disadvantage on the road in Wales, later found themselves down a man...

They Caught The Vikings Fan Who Wore A Purple Sombrero And Knocked Out A 50-Year-Old Man Outside Lambeau
This is Mark Swanson, from Lakeland, Minn. He was involved in the big brawl outside Lambeau Field after the Packers beat the Vikings, but if you were there you probably don't recognize him from his mug shot. That's because, according to police, he was wearing a large purple sombrero and a Vikings po...

Watch A Little Person Shake A Defender Out Of His Shoes In A Streetball League In Venice
This is Jamani Swanson and he plays in the Venice Basketball League, a league that "combin[es] the hardcore reality of the outdoor street basketball lifestyle with the glamour and glory of a professional league." He is also a little person....

Hey Knicks, Marlins, Orioles, Redskins, And Islanders Fans: ESPN Says The Sacramento Kings Have The Worst Owners In Sports
Venerable Kings blog Sactown Royalty notes that ESPN: The Paper Thingy ranks the Maloofs as the worst owners in sports—all of sports!—in their "Ultimate Standings 2012," which rates organizations across the four major sports based on some arbitrary methodology that I don't care to look into. (The o...

Swansea Played The Prettiest Soccer Game Of The Year (And Lost)
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Once Upon A Time, Charles Wang And Mike Milbury Royally Fucked Brian Burke
In 2001, the Canucks broke camp with two goaltenders: lifetime backup Dan Cloutier, and some dude. (Martin Brochu is about as "some dude" as a pro hockey player can be. In three non-consecutive NHL seasons, he got nine starts and didn't win a single one.) It was a personnel mystery that's endured to...

NBC's "Brotherhood Of Man" Super Bowl Tribute Featured Ron Swanson And Thus Was Awesome
Sure, this is just one long promo for all the (mostly) crappy programming on NBC. But for just one brief moment, there's Ron Swanson being Ron Swanson—and for that, we will watch it repeatedly. [NBC]...

Wolverhampton Fans Taunt "Know-Nothing" Coach, Leave And Miss Team's Comeback
When you're a football club in the English Premier League, you're not supposed to lose to teams freshly promoted from the minors. That's what the Wolverhampton Wolves with a 3-0 drubbing delivered by QPR in September. And that's what it looked like the Wolverhampton Wolves were about to do against...