table Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Does The NFL Have The Moral High Ground?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Tastes Like Sugarpova: Deadspin's 2011 U.S. Open Preview
For two weeks every year, hardened New Yorkers become prissy tennis fans, and Queens—not the Bronx—becomes the sports capital of the Big Apple. You could argue that the U.S. Open is, perennially, the biggest sporting event in New York, with the possible exceptions of the '94 Rangers-Knicks run and 2...

John McEnroe: Not All Of You Journalists Are Assholes
The classic 1980 Wimbledon Final between John McEnroe and Björn Borg has been dissected more than any match in tennis history. But the friendship that developed between the two, before and since, hasn't been as picked over, in part because Borg, who abruptly left the sport at age 26, has been genera...

Here's Video Of A Swedish Table-Tennis Battle Featuring The Elusive No-Look Spin-Shot Winner
What you see here, according to the ping-pong aficionados at Sport Post, is "international table tennis player Mattias Oversjo deliver[ing] an incredible no look spin shot against fellow Swede, Jörgen Persson."...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...

The Weekend In Minor League Hockey Stripteases
Here's Colorado Eagles assistant coach Greg Pankiewicz doing his thing on Friday night. Oh, classic "Hanky" Panks!...

Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....

Nadal Finally Wins His U.S. Open. Sucks For Us.
A prediction: Rafael Nadal will never win another U.S. Open....

Now They're Punching Each Other At The U.S. Open
A fight broke out in the stands at Arthur Ashe Stadium last night at the U.S. Open, briefly stopping play during an otherwise lackluster match between Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner. Everyone seems to be brawling these days....

Hot And Hard: Deadspin’s 2010 U.S. Open Preview
Deadspin chief tennis correspondent and resident deucebag Dylan Stableford will be covering the U.S. Open throughout the fortnight. Here are some key questions heading into the tennis year's last — and best — Grand Slam....

Disabled Ping Pong Pro Gets Propositioned, Robbed, Called Boring
This one speaks for itself in a wheelchair-fetish-y Penthouse Forum kind of way so I don't have the heart to strip it down, so to speak....

Spend Your Lunch Break Reading Through This Highbrow Round Table Featuring A Bunch Of Our Pals
Katie Baker, Will Leitch, Bethlehem Free Darko Shoals, Chad Harbach—editor of n+1— and more, talking about sports and literature? Click through already! One of the panelists even reveals a secret crush on Craggs. [The Morning News]...

Deadspin's Busty 2010 Wimbledon Preview
Yes, we know Wimbledon started yesterday. Did you? Honestly — did you? It doesn't get really interesting until Thursday, anyway, so, shhh. Here's Deadspin's tennis correspondent, the deuce-dropper himself, Dylan Stableford, to let you know what is the what....

LeBron Plays Professional Basketball ... On Television!
If there was ever a night to own a wall of TVs that can each show their own channel....well, most nights are good for that, but it would be particularly helpful this evening. Let's the set the table:...

Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...

Hello There, Little Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....

Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis
Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder....