to Page 2203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
Things you missed after being cast adrift by the mutineers ... Heat evens series with Pistons 1-all: All you've been able to talk about at work today is Dwayne Wade, which is odd, since you were fired from that job in March. Liverpool wins Euro Club Championship. AC Milan loses when Scott Norwood pe...
To Watch Tonight ...
She left me! How can I go on? How can I ... oh, I remember: TV sports. Game 2: Detroit Pistons at Miami Heat. In the time it takes Shaq to run the length of the court, six million pounds of cocaine have been smuggled into the U.S by boat. Houston Astros at Chicago Cubs. Damn you, Red Sox! We were su...
Leftovers: Oh, Put a Cork in it, Sammy.
Sammy Sosa swings at critics who say he dodged White Sox. Makes case by using frantic hand gestures. [Chicago Sun-Times] Your French Open update: Davenport, Venus survive. Now, take a breath and go on with your day. [Tennis-X.com] Mall magnate vows to keep team in Minnesota after Vikings sale approv...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the restraining order ... Spurs go up 2-0 on Suns: Our immunity to NBA Fever still has physicians baffled. Yankees clobber Tigers: A-Rod gets two homers. Or was that I-Rod? Jor-El? Ack, green kryptonite! Bucks win NBA Lottery: A 6.3 percent longshot comes through, giving hope ...
To Watch Tonight ...
Please welcome, making another appearance on our sofa — my ass. (Applause) Game 2: Spurs at Suns. Come see the franchise based solely on air conditioning. Dodgers at Giants: This used to be fun, back when Bonds and Beltre were juiced. NBA Draft Lottery: In which you are humiliated by a ping pong bal...
Leftovers: Whither Thou, Jerry Rice?
Rice may decide on Broncos today. Aging receiver would run patterns on Lark scooter. [Rocky Mountain News] Hey, didn't we just fire him? Brian Hill is back running the Magic. Wheee. [The Sports Network] Agent says Ricky Williams will attend Dolphins camp. But then, his agent says a lot of things. [M...
David Letterman: Nascar Dad
Like any right-minded American male between the ages of 24 and 54, we grew up loving David Letterman. And native Indianaian Letterman grew up loving the Indianapolis 500, culminating in his co-ownership of the Bobby Rahul Racing Team, which employs hot commodity Danica Patrick in this weekend's r...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while dangling from a tree in your parachute ... Pistons go up 1-0 on Heat. As it turns out, Shaq still has some parts on back order.Anastasia Myskina ousted in French Open. The good news: You've never liked women's tennis. Danica Patrick on Letterman: Female Indy qualifier has cab c...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Tonight Instead Of Chuckling At Soldiers Glaring At Nick Lachey: Game 1: Pistons at Heat: Little men make Shaq mad! Shaq crush little men! White Sox at Angels: The game will be played somewhere in the Los Angeles area. We're not allowed to say exactly where. Pirates at Cardinals: If Bo...
Isiah Finally Turns To The WNBA
You know it had to happen eventually. Isiah Thomas, whose plan seems to be to single-handedly rampage everything he comes across, Godzilla-like, is now looking for coach candidates from the WNBA. According to the Newark Star-Ledger (that's the paper with Jimmy Hoffa buried underneath), Bill Laimb...
Breaking News From The Couch
ESPN resident lunatic Stephen A. Smith reports that 76ers coach Jim O'Brien has been fired by the 76ers. We had this news first, because we can type faster than the drones at ESPN.com....
Leftovers: Jim Brown, Lacrosse Man
Look out! Jim Brown has a stick! Evidently, the greatest running back ever was even better at lacrosse. [Associated Press] Firms go all-in to buy NHL. $4 billion offer does not include Phoenix Coyotes. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] CSI: Hattiesburg: Conference USA and Big 12 football considers using inst...
In Praise Of The Guy Who Ruined Sports
Marvin Miller is essentially the guy who invented free agency. He demanded player's rights, he fought for pensions, he made the players' union among the most powerful unions on the planet. Gee, thanks, dick. All-baseball.com's Peter Handrinos argues that Miller should be in the Hall of Fame. Handrin...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly watching Desperate Housewives ......
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
Great Moments In Participatory Journalism
We really can't add much to this story of ESPN.com racing correspondent Bruce Martin being arrested for drunk driving and resisting arrest in Indianapolis....
Leftovers: Will Rice And Clarett Be Friends?
Jerry Rice's desperate search for employment could land him in Denver. [Denver Post] Onterrio Smith dismissed from Vikings. Wonder what he'll do with his spare time? [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] Kentucky slightly less egregiously racist than it was 20 years ago. [ESPN.com] Group of dorks already doing...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line for Star Wars tickets ... Suns go up 3-2 on Mavericks: Revenge of the Ewok as Nash goes for 34 against old team. Another setback for Bonds: He's attached to an IV in emergency attempt to distill some humility. M's end Yankees' win streak at 10: You may now resu...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
We Love The Fat Basketball Players
With ESPN's Chad Ford crying Chicken Little about the potential of an NBA lockout, we got to thinking about the last NBA lockout. Remember that one? Like hockey, nobody really missed the NBA when it was gone, but that didn't stop the players from putting together a Pay-Per-View game in Atlantic C...