today Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Tacky World Cup Marketing: Hyundai's Soccer Car
Soccer-ball wheels, soccer-cleat sideviews, artificial-turf interiors make for one hideous promotional vehicle. At the same time, shouldn't every sport be doing this? I want to laugh at a Ford F-150 outfitted with a Buccaneers helmet, stat. [Copyranter]...

Today In <em>Sportscenter</em> Fashion: Now Showing — Hannah And Her Sisters
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm....

Incorrect Report On Baseball Salaries Drives Country Into A Tizzy
Everyone breathlessly re-published USA Today's annual salary survey, with the shocking news that the average salary is down 17 percent from 2009. In actuality, average salaries are up from last season. Whoopsie....

Today In <em>SportsCenter</em> Fashion: Doug Gottlieb's Mentos Commercial Couture
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Doug Gottlieb....

Today In <em>SportsCenter</em> Fashion: Hannah's Demure, But What Is That On Josh Elliott's Neck?
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Hannah Storm and Josh Elliott....

New York's (Post) Allllllright
If you like sexy headlines! /cue saxophone. Desperate Woods: I'm quitting golf...

Thanks For Your Years Of Service, Drunky
It's not uncommon for the media to take pleasure in seeing certain players get traded away. But maybe you don't need to run photos of his underage drinking alongside the story....

The Bizarre World Of American Grocery Bagging
I spend a lot of time at the supermarket these days....

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...

Enjoy A Free Veggie Burger With John Salley
Former NBA player John Salley is giving out free veggie burgers today at Chicago's Soul Vegetarian East restaurant, although I called over there and no one seems to know anything about it. [The PETA Files]...

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

Tiki Barber's Karmic Payback Is Expensive And Sad
Standing in the middle of New York City while a little girl rolls red paint over his crotch, this "Today" show segment pretty much sums up Tiki Barber's post-NFL existence....

Adam "Pacman" Jones: "I Like-A The Strip Clubs"
If you missed the CBS pregame—and I wouldn't blame you—you missed an enlightening interview with Adam Jones about his current legal troubles and the all-important question: What's up with all the strip clubs?...

Ronaldinho Starts and Scores For Milan
AC Milan waited little time to get a healthy Ronaldinho into the starting eleven, and their investment in the veteran Brazilian playmaker paid quick dividends in the form of a 37th minute goal in the Milan derby. That was all they'd need to hold off a downright mopey Jose Mourinho. • The Citizens t...

Hull City's Shocking Upset Knocks Arsenal Off the Top of the Table
Absolutely nobody could have possibly seen this result coming. The Tigers of Hull City are officially the biggest surprise of the new Premier League season, especially after their eye-opening 2-1 victory over Arsenal, at Emirates Stadium no less. The Gunners took a 1-0 lead shortly after the half o...

Kalou Saves Chelsea, Unbeaten At the Bridge For 85 Straight
Neither Chelsea nor Manchester were entirely fit, but the sides put on another exciting match at Stamford Bridge. Ji-Sung Park put the Red Devils on the board 18 minutes into the game when Petr Cech was unable to hold on to Dimitar Berbatov's shot and for a while it looked like that could somehow b...

Perhaps More of This Winning Will Get Them a Sponsor
Who needs some fancy sponsor when you've got a new manager in Chelsea legend Gianfranco Zola? Not the Hammers apparently, because they came out and feasted on the Magpies with nothing adorning their shirts but a crest and a number. West Ham picked up their third consecutive win at Upton Park behind...

Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...

City Wins Big Despite Losing Richards, Deco Is the Difference For Chelsea
Manchester City's 3-0 drubbing of woeful West Ham was marred early in the second half when Micah Richards went down with a head injury after a midair collision with new teammate Tal Ben Haim. City's young star was treated by medical personnel on the pitch before being taken away on a stretcher. Aft...