tori Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
"Brawl For It All 2008"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings...
All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....
Read This: "One Throw," By W.C. Heinz
Bronx Banter has dug up a charming old short story by W.C. Heinz, author of one of the all-time great pieces of sportswriting....
Pat Burrell Hook-Up Stories Are Plentiful, Apocryphal, And (Literally) Full Of Shit
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....
Prep Schoolers Up In Arms Over Plebeian Reporter Pointing Out That Their Crappy Football Team Sucks
The Sidwell Friends football team has been outscored 373-43 this season. When Washington City Paper columnist Dave McKenna pointed that out, he learned that the school's tony pansies are way feistier on the Internet than they are on the field....
Stories That Don't Suck: David Halberstam On Maurice Lucas And The Powers That Be Scared Shitless
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: the late Maurice Lucas, menacing the whistle right out of a ref's mouth....
You Can't Write A Pot Story About The NBA Without Including Michael Beasley
The following is an excerpt from High Times magazine's story "Pot and the NBA," found in the December issue of America's favorite dank rag. Super Cool Beas, indeed....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Epic Tale Of America's Greatest Ping-Pong Hustler
Occasionally, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: newly minted Man Booker recipient Howard Jacobson on ping-pong's "boldest adventurer," Marty Reisman....
<em>ESPN The Mag</em>'s Epic Tale About Pro Athletes Who Poop During Competition
Squished between the naked bodies of athletes comes this amazing story about some of their unfortunate bouts with uncontrollable gastrointestinal eruptions. Here are some excerpts from David Fleming's story, which will be online eventually. [UPDATE: It's online.]...
Stories That Actually Do Kind Of Suck: John Updike On Ted Williams
It's the 50th anniversary of Ted Williams's final game, which means someone, inevitably, will want to talk about John Updike's gooey poetastering all over the pages of New Yorker. Read the story again, if you can bear it, and then explain to me what a "peeping-type Easter egg" is....
Because Of Tori Amos, Mick Foley Didn't Fear For His Balls In Barbed-Wire Cage Matches
"Finding solitude in a far corner of the frigid backstage area," recalls the semi-retired hardcore wrestler, right here in Slate.com, "I saw a cloud of my own breath as I pressed the play button. 'Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens. ...'"...
Stories That Don't Suck: USA Basketball's 12 Angry Men
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: The 1972 Olympic team, still bitter about losing to the Soviets....
Stories That Don't Suck: The NFL's Angry Liberal
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dave Meggyesy, linebacker, author, poisoner of our young youth, union man....
Stories That Don't Suck: College Football's Greatest Game And Its Greatest Story
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dan Jenkins on the 1971 Nebraska-Oklahoma "Game of the Century."...
Heat Claims First U.S. Open Participant
Victoria Azarenka was eliminated from the U.S. Open today, forfeiting her match when she collapsed in the oppressive Flushing Meadows heat. That sucks. However, the international tennis cognoscenti never miss a chance to be sorta bitchy....
La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally
Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass?...
California Bobblehead Proxy Election Was Fixed
A minor league giveaway offered fans their choice of gubernatorial candidate bobbleheads. The Republican version went faster, but there are allegations of ballot stuffing, gerrymandering and misrecorded votes. This is the biggest sham of a California election since the last one. [Newsvine]...