ubs Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Can't Kill Baseball Fans During West Coast Road Trips
We all knew baseball can keep kids out of trouble, give total strangers something to talk about, and sometimes give hope and solace to a grieving nation (see: 2001). But we didn't think baseball was capable of saving someone's life....

Today's A Perfect Day To Not Do Any Work
So, if you've been too caught up in not watching David Beckham and the MLS, you might have missed it, but we're in the midst of a rather unprecedented pennant chase in Major League Baseball. That is to say: Every single division race, not to mention the wild-card run, is close; the biggest gap betwe...

The Real Pennant Race Borders Lake Michigan
• Ha-Ha, My Win Cancels Out Your Win. Looks like the NL Central is the lone division that knows how to orchestrate a damn pennant race. The Chicago Cubs won 6-2 over the Colorado Rockies, and they remain just ½ game behind the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers also won, but with a smaller margin of vic...

Make These Women Carry Your Stuff
The woman in this photo is Lucy Dardiner, one of the specialty caddies from England's Eye Candy Caddies. The concept is what you think it is: Attractive people, carrying your clubs and, we dunno, feeding you grapes or something....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while fishing for freshwater Plimpies ... • MLB: Hello, my name is Carlos Zambrano. You killed my father. Now prepare to die. • Tennis: Andy Roddick laps opponent at Indy. • Field hockey: Oh no! Well, now I have lost the will to live....

Remembering Harry Caray's Last Broadcast
The intrepid souls at Joe Sports Fan have dug up tape of the final game Harry Caray every broadcast. The game was September 21, 1997. So much has changed, but Harry was always the same....

True Stars Shine In Los Angeles
Thank God they finally got that out of the way. For weeks we've been inundated with coverage of David Beckham's American debut. Now that those anti-climactic 12 minutes of play have come and gone perhaps everybody will just calm down for a little while. Like any other fan of American soccer I'm glad...

Beware The Tempest That Is The Chicago Cubs
Hey, thanks for reviving me; those smelling salts really did the trick. If you hadn't come along when you did, I would have missed my bus. It's just that something I heard a few minutes ago really shocked me, and I went down like a carp. Passed right out. Yep, just two little sentences, uttered in t...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your cat demands an iPod ... • Golf: American Century Championship, first round, at Lake Tahoe, Nev. At least Berman's not here. [ESPN2] • MLB: Pittsburgh at Atlanta. A more compelling matchup you'd be hard to find. [TBS] • Softball: KFC World Cup of Softball, round robin, USA vs. C...

A Perfectly Appropriate Keepsake
Under normal circumstances, we couldn't imagine a way that we would ever buy our father a birthday present — August 6, everybody; postmark Bryan Leitch, Mattoon, Illinois! — that's a piece of Chicago Cubs memorabilia. But this might just be an exception....

Mark Cuban Could Be Wrigley's Purveyor Of Jocularity
Cubs fans, beware: There's a possibility that Lou Piniella could end up working for Mark Cuban. That would be a calm partnership and in no way combustible....



Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....

Paris Hilton Gets Out Of Jail, This Guy Goes In ... It's The Circle Of Liiiffe ...
We knew that once you begin letting fans vote on the All-Star roster, it's only a matter of time before some of them begin leaping onto the field to make pitching changes. This "numbskull," as the Chicago Sun-Times described him, was just a few feet from reaching Cubs pitcher Bob Howry in the ninth ...

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....

Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....