unite Page 174 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...
Would Anyone Like To Own The Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
The Buccaneers are so sad this season that the local UFL team says they can beat them. Maybe owner Malcolm Glazer agrees, because according to Tampa sports talk radio station WDAE, he's putting the team up for sale....
Finally, Objective Proof That Referees Favor Manchester United
Imagine if every time the Yankees lost, the umps decided to play a 10th inning. That's what's happening in England, with (obviously) Man U being the beneficiary of some super-shady timekeeping....
How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash
Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large....
Congratulations, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Nailing Your Sister
Chelsea had a bit of a rough go of it this year, especially after losing a heartbreaker to Barcelona in the Champions League, but their Italian-Brazilian midfielder Juliano Belletti can take solace in the fact that his sister has found comfort in the arms of Man U coxswain Cristiano Ronaldo....
The Faces (And Belly) Of Disappointment For Man U
We've all been there—just be glad a professional photographer wasn't around to capture your lowest moment as a sports fan. (Caption: Disappointment was clear on the faces of Manchester United fans during the final minutes of the team's game against Barcelona Wednesday.) [Photo: Alessia Pierdomenico/...
Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...
Manchester United Secures Third Straight Premier League Title
A 0-0 draw with Arsenal did the trick. Man U is now tied with Liverpool with 18 titles all-time. And now I'm going to stop talking about soccer before I get something wrong....
Arsenal Fan Commits Suicide After Champions League Wipeout
A Kenyan soccer fan hung himself—in his Arsenal jersey—after his favorite team got thumped by Manchester United in the Champions League yesterday. That is not dealing well with defeat....
Everybody Loves The Underdog
Fulham are leading Manchester United 1-0 at halftime. I'm told this is unexpected, but that's what they get for benching Rooney and Tevez. Scholes was sent off in the 18th minute for being old. [ESPN]...
The United Football League Is What We Thought It Was!
Denny Green and Jim Fassel are back coaching pro football, and there may be a spot for Michael Vick as well. Welcome to the wonderful world of the UFL!...
Goalie Uses Newfangled Gadget To Outfox Penalty Kickers
Manchester United won the Carling Cup last weekend in a dramatic(?) penalty shootout, but it turns out that goalie Ben Foster may have had some technological assistance....
British Soccer: Like A Sunny, Fun Day At Disneyland
So which is more distasteful, sports fans?: Mocking plane crash victims, or wishing someone dead from a car wreck? Don't worry, it's British soccer. You can have both!...
The Deadspin Pub: Help Yourself (Because I Sure Can't)
By request: Soccer hooligans may commiserate in here. I'm told Chelsea and Manchester United are playing right now, which sounds important, but what do I know?...
Maybe The Sprinklers Came On During The Match
Manchester United won't appeal the four-match ban against star Patrice Evra, levied for — get this — his fight with a groundskeeper. [Guardian.co.uk]...
This UFL Logo Is Easy To Swallow, But Hard To Take In
Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it ver...
Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...
Where the Strong Feast On the Weak
Welcome to another glorious weekend at the Deadspin Pub. This week we're featuring huge clashes between Italian powers Inter and Juventus as well as a huge match in England pitting the Red Devils against the Villans. Aside from that the day is primarily composed of world powers like Liverpool, Chels...