united Page 175 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...

Blue Is the Colour, Football Is the Game
We've had to wait since May's epic Champions League Final but the time has finally come for the Blues of Chelsea to take on the Red Devils of Manchester United. Holy crap, I'm all tingly. Obviously I'm a bit of a homer for Chelsea, which is why I won't be live blogging the contest. That and I'll be...

Four More Years
Michael Bertin writes about soccer regularly for Deadspin. I'm big into self-preservation, so if I'm in the path of a hurricane—which having been temporarily relocated to Houston, I am (or was)—it's not going to take much cable news fear-mongering to get me to evacuate. And that's the story of how I...

Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...

City Wins Big Despite Losing Richards, Deco Is the Difference For Chelsea
Manchester City's 3-0 drubbing of woeful West Ham was marred early in the second half when Micah Richards went down with a head injury after a midair collision with new teammate Tal Ben Haim. City's young star was treated by medical personnel on the pitch before being taken away on a stretcher. Aft...

A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...

Wayne Rooney Stag Party Photos Make Eye Gouging Sound Fun
Man U's Wayne Rooney is having a "stag do" (Huh? Googling, googling, googling...oh! A stag party. Crazy Brits.) in Ibiza in advance of his marriage to fiancee Coleen McLoughlin. Among the zany antics, Wayne has been ordered to wear a mankini , the green thongish thing Borat wore in the movie, by s...

Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...

Weep Not For John Terry
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Okay, That Was Kind Of Exciting
Mr. Hirshey will have a much more comprehensive and aritculate wrap-up of the Champions League, um...championship?...tomorow, but, for now, this photo will have to suffice....

The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Man U Rubs It In
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Remembering ManU, Then And Now
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

All Hail The Loathsome Ronaldo
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday....

Bonds Blogdome
What they're saying about Barry Bonds' federal indictment on perjury charges ......

So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...

In America It's Deviant, In the UK It's Cheeky
It turns out that Wayne Rooney isn't Manchester's only star player with a serious jonesin' for the pros. I can hardly blame the guy for setting up an orgy, he must have a ton of pent up energy what with not playing due to suspension and all, but did the over-sexed superstar (/fuckhead) really have t...
