update Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On to the Late Games
But first...how 'bout them Redskins! Getting back to business, we're blessed with five late games, and a couple of them don't even suck. Then there are the ones that feature the Dolphins, the Falcons, and the Niners. Regardless I'm giving them all the equal treatment (except for the Dolphins, becaus...

NFL Update: Week 2 Early Games Final
• Bears 17, Panthers 20- sigh. Jonathan Stewart scored his second TD with under four minutes left to secure the win. Oh, and a stalled Bears drive failed to bring them back. • Bills 20, Jaguars 16 - Trent Edwards (20-25, 239 yds.) charged back with 10 points in the fourth to steal the win. • Giants ...

NFL Update: Week 2 Third Quarter
• Bears 17, Panthers 13- Carolina rudely won't give up to the Neckbeard's superiority (17-23, 140 yards). Also: holding, Chicago. • Bills 10, Jaguars 16 - Maurice Jones-Drew scores a TD on a 74-yard drive for the Jaguars. • Giants 20, Rams 6 - Eli Manning: 17-26, 202 yds, 2 TDs, 86 commercials. Welc...

NFL Update: Week 2 Halftime
• Bears 10, Panthers 3- Both teams traded field goals in the second quarter. Matt Forte has 15 carries for 43 yards. • Bills 10, Jaguars 3 - Fred Jackson has four catches for 50 yards. • Giants 13, Rams 6 - Both teams traded field goals and then traded field goals again, including one at the half. E...

That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...

Inaugural Game, T.O., and Fumbles
It was a glorious day of football and we still have one more game left. The Bears take on the Colts in the inaugural regular season game at the new Lucas Oil Stadium. Will Peyton Manning throw six touchdowns? Will his knee hold up? Will Kyle Orton be sober? Only time will tell. The afternoon games h...

Part 2: Ocho Stinko and Injuries, Injuries, Injuries
Still no word on the Brady injury. Kind of ironic that this is the first week in four years the Patriots haven't listed Brady on the injury report. A domino effect was started as other starters throughout the league starting dropping like flies. • The debut of Ocho Cinco turned out to be Ocho Stinko...

NFL Update: Part 1
The golden boy goes down! Tom Brady is taken off the field early in the first quarter of the Kansas City/England game with a knee injury. Career backup QB Matt Cassel took over and after a rough start, looked really decent connecting with Randy Moss on a 10 yard touchdown pass . There's no word yet ...

Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) * * * Okay, so nobod...

Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan
The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from...

Jose Canseco Is Anxiously Awaiting YOUR Email
Not only could you be living in Jose Canseco's home two months from now (it's being foreclosed), but you can stop by and punch him in the mouth to boot. As we learned yesterday, Canseco is promoting a boxing event in Atlantic City, and is currently looking for an opponent to meet him in the ring. Ye...

Mark Littell, The Nutty Buddy, Is Completely Nuts
Two days ago, I emailed Mark Littell, former major leaguer and creator of the Nutty Buddy to see if he'd comment on that story I was working on about Flyers center Patrick Thoresen and the dangers of pucks (or anything) to the groin, etc. I told him (or, rather, the Nutty Buddy crack email team) tha...

I'm Not Your Fwend, Buddy
You see, she's dressed like that because it was... raining. Forget all of that, the rain is gone and everybody is on the course in Augusta. Jim Nantz just called me his friend, so you know we're ready to go. Defending champion Zach Johnson is putting together the round of the day, but all his -4 ro...

The Sons Also Rise
Another day, and another day of great basketball lies waiting. Villanova has moved on to the Sweet 16 by way of an 84-72 win against Siena. There are now four games underway, so continue after the jump for your live update needs. I'm watching Georgetown/Davidson, but I've also been keeping track of ...

When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....

Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....

Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....

McCowns For Everyone!
With just four games on the 4 o'clock table, three turned out to be amazing, while the fourth turned out to be Denver-Oakland, which was still passable as a competitive event....

Only YOU Can Prevent The Giants Passing Attack
The matchup of Rex Grossman and Eli Manning is one you'd think would result in one of the QBs getting benched in the near future if they don't play up to snuff. Grossman is throwing pretty well, all things considered, with over 200 yards passing and a score, even though most of his incompletions wer...