urban Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Urban Meyer's New Contract Has Some Massive Buyout Clauses
There doesn’t appear to be anything especially crazy in Urban Meyer’s new contract, but along with a salary bump that at least nominally makes him higher-paid than Jim Harbaugh, the coach of the defending college football champs locked in some nice buyout figures, should Ohio State decide to fire h...

Rejoice! Alonzo Mourning Says "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" Happened!
Today is a great day! It's been almost a year since Dikembe Mutombo went on Highly Questionable and shot down one of the greatest urban legends in sports, denying that he ever walked into a club and shouted, "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" Today, those of us who have held on to the hope that Mutombo was...

"How's Your Dick?": The Rise And Fall Of An Alleycat Race
"Stupor Bowl is dead," Gene Oberpriller pronounced after the 18th annual alleycat bike race. The fact that you—hopelessly mainstream as you are—are reading this is proof. As any nightclub owner will confirm, underground cachet is a fragile beast. It's only minutes, or entries in this case, between t...

How To Ride A Bike In The City
I'm totally going to jinx myself by typing this, but here goes: After 10 years of religious urban bike-riding, nothing terrible has happened to me. I've never been doored or side-swiped, my bike has never been stolen outright (though parts of it have), and I've never caught a flat while flying down ...

The New Tebowing
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Ohio State Beats Alabama And The College Football Final Is Set
Ohio State and Urban Meyer exorcised some demons tonight. ...

This Awkward Report From The Urbana Sweetcorn Fest Is Full Of Lies
Maggie Hockenberry had the unenviable task of up-selling the Urbana Sweetcorn Fest in Urbana, Illinois and every step of the way the camera saw right through her. "Oh my gosh, Amanda. Downtown Urbana, corn is what everybody's craving. There's a line behind me of people just waiting to get their ears...

Urban Meyer Is Still Insane For Tim Tebow And Won't Shut Up
Urban Meyer is delusional. The synapses in his brain are slowly failing to fire in the proper manner. Or maybe the aliens finally came for him. Those are the only explanations we can possibly give for why Meyer appears to be the last person on Earth who still thinks Tebow can make it in the NFL. Eve...

A Treasury Of Your Terrifying Poop Stories For Super Bowl Bye Week
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

Urban Meyer's Wicked Game
Urban Meyer was unable to lead the Buckeyes to an Orange Bowl win last night, falling 40-35 in an error-prone game that proved to be the first bowl loss for Meyer since the 2007 season. It's also a consecutive loss for the Urbz, something he'd only experienced three times previously in his career....

Urban Meyer's Former Florida Players Revel In His Failure
Auburn fans (and anyone who hates Ohio State) enjoyed Ohio State's loss to Michigan State in the Big Ten championship last night, foiling the Buckeyes' chance at a national championship. Others with a personal beef—such as, say, some of Meyer's former players and commits at Florida that remained wh...

Sad Urban Meyer Eats Papa John's After Loss
Oh man, this is sad. That is definitely Schnatter's face. I bet he didn't even shake up the garlic sauce. ...

The Braves' Move From Atlanta Is An Affront To Baseball And Democracy
Originally published in Bloomberg View....

Emails: Reporters Pester Urban Meyer About Hernandez (And Tebow)
When Aaron Hernandez became a murder suspect—and news emerged of previously unreported incidents during his time at Florida—journalists naturally turned to his former Gators coach for comments on Hernandez's "checkered" past. But Urban Meyer wasn't having it....

One Ohio State Player Dismissed From Team, Other Arrested
The Columbus Dispatch is reporting that top Ohio State running back Carlos Hyde has been dismissed from the team by head coach Urban Meyer. Hyde was reportedly named as a person of interest in a case regarding a woman who was assaulted in a Columbus bar this weekend. At this point, Hyde has not been...

Teenaged Aaron Hernandez Punched A Bar Employee After Refusing To Pay
Aaron Hernandez sucker-punched a Gainesville bar employee in 2007, injuring the man seriously enough that police recommended felony charges be brought against the then 17-year-old Florida Gators player....

Ohio State Forced To Clarify That Woody Hayes Never Let A Turtle Bite His Penis
Urban Meyer was a featured speaker at this weekend's Ohio High School Coaches' Convention. It might never have been noticed, except for one story that grabbed the interest of CoachingSearch.com:...

101-Year-Old Man Retires From Running Marathons, Shaming You
Well, it was bound to happen. Fauja Singh, the old guy who is too old to prove how old he is, announced he will be retiring from running marathons. It's worth mentioning again, though, that he is almost 102 years old and still actively running marathons. Next month's Hong Kong Marathon on February ...

How Do Recovering Cheaters Comply With NCAA Regulations?
While the NCAA has a vested interest in keeping premier programs strong, the Urban Meyer hire at Ohio State may still have been disheartening to those in charge of keeping the school's football team in line. Five months after paragon Buckeye Jim Tressel resigned in the wake of a non-compliance scand...

Michigan State Coaches Say Ohio State Gave Them Selectively Edited Game Tape
After Ohio State beat Michigan State today 17-16, the Spartans coaches' bellies ached loudly enough that reporters heard them and wrote that Michigan State's coaches were upset with Ohio State's coaches. Apparently the game film that Ohio State provided in advance of their game was not up to Big Ten...