usb Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Fans mob a Twitter-promoted baseball game featuring the Jonas Brothers. If you're wondering about their road beef, Chris Hansen would like you to sit down over here. [Boston Herald]...

Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....

Your Awkward And Vaguely Racist Video of the Day: Black Olympics
If you are a connoisseur of sophisticated social satire in the tradition of Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift, prepare yourself for Martellus Bennett's latest opus. It is entitled-simply, eloquently-Black Olympics....

$1.5 Billion Doesn't Go As Far As You Think
Martellus Bennett takes you on an informative and possibly racist (just against the Chinese, though) tour of the new Cowboys stadium. Hope you like $14 BBQ sandwiches, Dallas fans! Someone has to pay for those video screens. [MartyBTV]...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

How 'Bout 'Dem Ladies Killing Their Husbands Over 'Dem Cowboys?
" An Allen woman accused of killing her husband said she stabbed him in the heart after he turned up the volume of a Dallas Cowboys game, according to media reports." [DMN]...

Cowboys' Practice Bubble Collapses
The air-supported dome on the Dallas Cowboys practice facility collapsed this afternoon. Several people were trapped and four have been sent to the hospital. Players and coaches are reportedly safe. [DMN, MartyBTV]...

Martellus Bennett Wants To Know Why He Loves Chicken So Much
Everyone's favorite Cowboy blogger has been off for a week, but he came back with an important post that will surely further a difficult, but necessary debate—why do black people love the fried chicken?...

Columbus Will Never Forget Its First Time
Down 0-2 to Detroit, the Blue Jackets host their first-ever home playoff game tonight and Puck Daddy has a tribute to other playoff virgins. Confused Buckeye fans are unsure what to burn. [Puck Daddy]...

Martellus Bennett's Blog Is A Thing Of Beauty
Martellus Bennett (no relation) is best known for his fine performance on HBO's Hard Knocks and his ability to rhyme "Romo" with "homo." Now he's a blogger....and he is awesome at it....

Another Strong Argument For Blacking Out Local NHL Games
So you make one little bomb threat — or three — during a hockey game, and suddenly the police are at your door. Well then take me away, officer, because I thought this was a free country....

Mike Piazza's Bacne Was Legendary And Suspicious
Mike Piazza's volcanic back acne has been discussed on this site before and now, cranky old writer Murray Chass is enlightening us with his own (deleted) tales of Piazza's zit-covered past....

Who's Sorry Now? (Martellus Bennett Rap Fail Edition)
The Cowboys' Martellus Bennett is sorry for that earlier rap, when he rhymed "Romo" with "homo." Precisely $22,000 worth of sorry. So he'd like to make it up to you with ... another rap....

Strange Times Keep Getting Stranger In the World Of The Dallas Cowboys
Dear VH1: Please develop a reality series starring Terrell Owens, in which he examines his many personal problems with his publicists. P.S., I am not a crackpot....
![J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f17vy5xtnrhjpg.jpg)
J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere
This proves that J.C. Romero's hyper-excitement on the mound is not something manufactured just for his relief appearances....

For Your Viewing Pleasure: It's a Hard-Knock Life for Us
• 12:00 — Movie: Annie [ABC Family] - If your team loses today, you just stick out your chin and grin and say... • 12:00 — Sport: College Football - Georgia Tech at Georgia [CBS] - Stone Mountain will be leveled by the sheer force of will emitted from this game. This will not be enough to convince s...

Charles Barkley Pays Busboy's Tuition to Temple
Proving that he can be recklessly generous as often as he can be recklessly gambling, Barkley picked up the tuition for a busboy at an Italian restaurant he regularly visits in Philadelphia. Says the Philly Daily News:...

Your NFL Season Brownie Point Calculator
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

Karl Malone Once Liked Them Very, VERY Young
So you know that story earlier this week about the Bills draftee who's the secret son of Karl Malone? Well, the plot thickens. According to The Buffalo News, Malone might have been robbing the cradle a little bit....

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...