volunteers Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derek Dooley Compares His Tennessee Team To The Nazis Or Something (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
During a press conference today, Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley took a spin towards crazytown, comparing his team's miscommunication woes to the Nazis' prior to the Allies' landing at Normandy. This won't be hilariously recontextualized by a rival at all....

UF Little Person Strips, Tries To Fight Tennessee Fans
It ends pretty much as you'd expect these things to; with a boot to the chest....

Tennessee Football Team Doesn't Know How To Properly Bathe
A staph infection outbreak among several Tennessee football players left coach Derek Dooley with no option other than to conduct a team-wide clinic on proper showering technique and hygiene. Work up a rich lather after the jump....

Derek Dooley Hints Matt Simms Might Be The Starter
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley....

Tennessee Players In Bar Brawl, But Is There A Potential NCAA Violation In Play?
If you're a UT player and would like to stay on the team, just avoid Cumberland Avenue. And if you're a regular person and don't want to get beaten up by the UT players, also avoid Cumberland Avenue....

Volunteers Vs. Conscripted From Birth: Your Tennessee-MSU Open Thread
The winner becomes the highest (lowest?) seed, yet the most boring team in the Final Four. We don't like our Cinderellas to be huge programs on a down year. Still, fun coaches. Follow along in the comments....

Swiperboy And Bruce Pearl's Son Make Tennessee Most Entertaining (Or Infuriating) Sweet 16 Team
Looking for a bandwagon NCAA team now that yours has been eliminated? How about Tennessee? At the very least, their smooth rhymes and maddening nepotism will give you something talk about at the water cooler....

Set The Lower Midwest Aflame: Your 3:00 Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee. If you're flying over these states today, the bonfires will light your way to whatever godless coastal sinhole you've sold your soul to live in. Butler-Murray State; Ohio-Tennessee. Get some....

Indigenous Warriors Take On Mountain Folk: San Diego State-Tennessee Open Thread (CINDERELLA WATCH)
Bruce Pearl's team got stomped last weekend against Kentucky. Are they in for a repeat performance? Is Marshall Faulk going to get interviewed by Armen Keteyian courtside? Join in on the fun....

The Ballad Of Peanut Butter Kid: A Firsthand Account
Some fans cover themselves in body paint. Others just spill food on themselves over the course of the game. Then there's UGA's Peanut Butter Kid, who made yesterday's upset over Tennessee just about as unpleasant as possible for everyone involved....

UT Proves That Lane Kiffin Was A Hardened Criminal
The smear campaign against the newly-departed continues in earnest, as state and university officials confirm he never held an in-state driver's license. Throw away the key!...

Every Time You Void Your Bowels You'll Think Of Lane Kiffin
It's cute when Knoxville pretends they didn't want Kiffikins anyway, but the newest proposal is fitting: bestow his name on the place they get rid of their shit....

One-Fourth Of Lane Kiffin Rumor Turns Out To Be True
A Knoxville Lexus dealer confirms that a car they leased to Kiffin through the university was involved in an accident at some point in the past. Feel free to jump to whatever conclusions you deem appropriate. [WVLT]...

Because Hiring A Famed Coach's Son Worked Out So Well Last Time
Everybody and their mother is reporting that Derek Dooley will be the next coach at UT. But he'd have to break his contract with LA Tech! I'm sure indignant Vols fans will heap scorn upon him as well, right? [Tennessean]...

How Lane Kiffin Resurrected, Then Destroyed Tennessee's Recruiting Program
Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron quickly turned Tennessee recruiting in a national superstar, but their noisy exit could not have come at a worse time and will leave the Volunteers worse off than when they took over....

Connecting The Two Greatest Tragedies Of The Young Decade
A Knoxville store is looking to send unwanted Lane Kiffin shirts to Haiti. Wait, they sold coach-branded merchandise? And you people bought it? You deserve everything you get (UT, not Port-Au-Prince). [Tennessean]...

Poor Layla Kiffin's Facebook Fan Page Has Also Been Set On Fire
Last year, Clay Travis started a Facebook fan page called "Our Coach's Wife Is Hotter Than Yours" when Layla was still wearing Circus Peanut orange as a member of the UT family. In recent hours, she's lost some fans....

Last Night's Winner: Impressionable Student-Athletes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the current and prospective college athletes who should finally be disabused of any illusions about the promises their coaches don't plan to keep....

UT FANS NOW ATTACKING DEFENSELESS ROCK (BURNING MATTRESS UPDATE)
That's the famed UT Rock, marked up with the first batch of heartfelt farewell messages from a grateful student body to Lane Kiffin. Some students also raided Kiffin's press conference to his players. Plus, another defiled rock photo below....

Bruce Pearls Sticks Gun Foot In Mouth
Four players suspended after being caught with handguns? No problem, says Pearl. "We still have got weapons." [Kentucky Sports Radio]...