warner Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More Bad Madness On The Sepp Blatter Campaign Trail
A week before FIFA's presidential elections, another evil-smelling troll has escaped from the basement of Sepp Blatter's Swiss chalet. The current source of horror: Mohamed bin Hammam, Blatter's rival in the elections, was charged yesterday with offering bribes to members of the Caribbean Football U...

Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Will "Be Sucked Into A Black Hole" If Sepp Blatter Is Not Reelected FIFA President
Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote "could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage." Let's defer to him to set ...

Try To Look Surprised: England Says World Cup Voters Asked For Bribes
Ever since the good, godfearing Anglo nations were shut out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, rumors have flown that Russia and Qatar bribed their way to the top. No one would be surprised because it's FIFA, but it was also sour grapes. And maybe it still is, but this time England is naming names....

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

Is Kurt Warner Living Out An "Eyes Wide Shut" Fantasy With Right-Hand Man Larry Fitzgerald?
Larry Fitzgerald has done absolutely nothing to justify being taken early in fantasy-football drafts. He makes up for that by posting this photo from the "Best Buddies Arizona" event....

Did You Know Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now? Because Kurt Warner Is On A TV Show Now
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: retired quarterback Kurt Warner....

My Name Is Hurricane Earl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

21-Year-Old Man Arrested for Playing Football Among Boys
Julious Javone Threatts really, really wanted to play football for the Town 'N Country Packers Pop Warner team in Tampa....

Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News
"Warner has talked to movie producers interested in making Warner's life story. Kurt's wife Brenda wants Denzel Washington play the lead." That concludes Today In Rather Bizarre Potential Kurt Warner Movie News. [Pro Football Talk, H/T Disco Choo]...

The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...

Kurt Warner Joins The Ranks Of White People Walking It Out
A sun-hatted Kurt Warner made an appearance at a charity flag football event and, like Buzz Williams before him, decided to dance to a song no one has liked for several years. Unlike Buzz, he's actually not bad. [Slanch Report]...

If MLB Had Relegation, This Would Be Quite The Battle
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Kurt Warner, The Great Unknowable Freak Of The NFL
Explaining their aversion to the epic, ridiculous Cardinals-Packers game Sunday, Free Darko wrote: "Warner scores don't move me. I know what he's thinking." I do not understand this. I have no idea what Warner's ever thinking. It scares me....

Everybody Loves Kurt Warner...Except One Former California Pizza Kitchen Employee
Kurt Warner just can't stop winning over NFL fans with his sage quarterbacking and stock boy humbleness, so even if he doesn't make it to Canton we can all agree he's an exceptional human being, right? Behold a dissenter....

Somebody Get Larry Fitzgerald's Brother A Clipboard
Look deeper into the Cardinals' 31-17 win on Sunday, as Larry Fitzgerald's brother did, and you'd realize too that Kurt Warner is an "OLD ASS MAN" who doesn't know how to run a team, 24-for-26 notwithstanding....

Guy That Enabled Kurt Warner's Career Retires
As a very, very late bloomer to football, one of my first memories was hearing about Rams quarterback Trent Green down for the count in 1999....

ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....

God Lights The Way For Kurt Warner, Demands 15 Percent
Kurt Warner officially announced his new deal with the Cardinals on Wednesday, saying that it was God who told him to eschew the 49ers and return to Arizona....

Warner Loves And Leaves 49ers, Agrees To Makeup Sex With Cardinals
Two days after he was romanced by the 49ers via limo and private jet, Kurt Warner agreed to a two-year deal with the Cardinals, ESPN is reporting. What a slut....

Everybody Loves Kurt
Kurt Warner says that his trip to San Francisco wasn't a leverage ploy, but look! The Cardinals — who have been intractable for weeks — have suddenly upped their contract offer by three million bucks....