week Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Substitute Has Arrived
Good morning! Dan Shanoff here. (First things first: I cannot dunk, obviously. That photo to the right was taken on a 7-foot rim, and even then I needed a boost.)...
It's More Difficult To Shake Off 24 Hours Of ESPN Than One Might Think
• As if you needed proof, watching ESPN for 24 hours is a bad idea. • Cleveland celebrated its trip to the NBA Finals ... • ... and then got off to a rather rough start. • Tank Johnson is a new man. • Gene Upshaw is a smooth operator. • Eric Mangini is ACTING! • Give blood, get drunk. • Gary Sheffie...
A-Rod Is Dead, Dawg
• Jose Canseco and his fake reality show] • Cheese wheel. • Nothing offensive about this, nope. • This lady? Never heard of her. Until now! • Ichiro is wacky. • Every party should have Mr. Met. • LeBron might be all kinds of amazing. • Here come the otters! HERE COME THE OTTERS! • Isiah Thomas, a bu...
About Last Night
What you missed while enjoying the new side of Darth Vader... • NBA: Spurs lead Jazz 91-79 after three quarters in their ... wait, what? That's a final? • NHL: Year of the Duck ... Anaheim takes 1-0 lead over Senators. • MLB: Milestone for the Braves! No, Cox wasn't ejected; it was Jones' 350th home...
Of Ping Pong Balls And Dogfights
• A-Rod likes his balls. • Carl Monday remains unstoppable. • Clinton Portis likes it when dogs fight. • Dan Shanoff live blogged the draft lottery, and it was not a happy night for Celtics fans. • AJ Hawk will be more careful about wedding photographers in the future. • NBC switches from playoff ov...
This Looks Like Our Prom Picture
• ESPN Mobile is indestructible. • Eric Mangini, trying to grapple with the Pats. • Brady Quinn, DANCIN'. • Ken Griffey Jr., having some fun with hecklers. • That whole suspension thing kind of mucked matters up. • It's Arena Football Day in Bristol! • Do not cheat if you're fishing. • Charming , La...
Greetings From The South Side!
• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise. • Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts. • See ya, Chelsea. • ESPN is full of it. Who knew? • The Brewers will make you pee. • Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all. • We love a good Star Wars nerd. • Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is b...
We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...
Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...
Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...
Week In Deadspin: Projectiles In Boston
• In Fenway they throw pizza, and in Toronto they throw beer. • Kids, this is what happens when you aren't good at soccer. • Pete Carroll is in much better shape than Will Ferrell. • Free Darko took us into the playoffs. • Bud Selig solves all racial inequality. • No-hitters are the best. • "Hey, ca...
Week In Deadspin: Like Pac Man, We're Taking Some Time Off
• What it was like at Fenway on Wednesday. • In case you're looking for some new employment opportunities. • Jon Bon Jovi, pissed! • Indians in Milwaukee? Wha? • The new ombudsman bitch-slaps Schrutebag. • Not a good week for ESPN Fantasy Games. • Maybe you should sit a few plays out, big guy. • Rem...
Week In Deadspin: We Can Watch Baseball Again
• Baseball's back! • Bill Simmons, staying above ground. • Nothing is funnier than when Frank Thomas pegs a child. • Even though the team's not looking so hot right now, Cardinals fans remain the best. • Beer bong! • Don't fag out on us now, Packer. • We never made it to Atlanta, but Florida didn't ...
Week In Review: Yes, Virgina, There Is A Final Four
• Screw off, Selig. • Goodbye, George Solomon. • Peyton Manning blows us away with his ability to be vaguely amusing. • Look what happens when you get these guys together in a room. • Dance, Gus Johnson, dance. • Duke ladies. • See ya, Joe Theismann. • You, too, can coach the Wolverines. • David Hir...
Week In Deadspin: Live Forever
• Barbaro ... the Chee-to! • Ahhhhhhh! • Iowa wants to control exactly who wants to fire their coaches. • Boy, the NIT sure is exciting. • Don't worry, you're not weird for reading more ESPN than FoxSports. • If you have a low seed, you will take your rat hotel and you will LIKE it. • Tony LaRussa s...
Week In Deadspin: Waiting For Upsets
• We can't look at these NBAer photos enough. • We had many tournament previews. • ESPN has many enemies. Including us! • This kid loves some N.C. State. • Misinterpreting Pete Rose. • Tommy Lasorda, sleeping and dreaming. • Blah blah blah, Syracuse is pissed, blah blah blah. • Aw ... Duke lost. Dam...
Week In Review: Sixteen Candles
• Screw off, Selig. • Good night, George Solomon. • Rough week for Ron Borges. • No guns at Miami? Wha? • We're wearing one of these right now. • Competitive wanking. • Billy Packer minister of information. • Father knows best. • Speaking of which, Tom Brady, hitting open receivers. • Peyton Manning...
Week In Review: The Smokey Tornado
• Goodbye, Balls. • We guarantee you Dick Vitale's Betamax is flashing 12:00. • It's good to be Brian Urlacher. • Tommy Lasorda claims he doesn't pay for sex, but we know better. • We'll take a camouflage Bible over a neon bible, anytime. • Sorry! • You absolutely cannot kill Rulon Gardner. • Whom s...
Week In Review: Gobble...Gobble...Make It Rain
• The week just kept getting worse and worse for Pacman Jones. • Peeing in the backseat of a cop car? Bad idea. • Michael Irvin, ESPN hardly knew ye. • Taking way too long to destroy a mascot. • This is what it has come to: Rocky Balboa is on steroids. • One bad-ass hockey fight. • Tom Brady, procre...
Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...