wha Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holy Shit, That Election Was Marginally Less Depressing Than Expected
If I may take you Inside The Game for a moment: the Deadcast was in Tennessee this week, for an intimate and robustly seasoned and extremely fun live recording at Headquarters Beercade in downtown Nashville on Monday. The plan was to put that podcast online and on this website today, and we are inde...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...
Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...
Carolina Hurricanes Continue To Dance On Hartford's Broken Corpse
Hartford, one of America’s shittiest cities, received more bad news today. The logo, music, and iconography of the Hartford Whalers—the scrappy lovable hockey team that Peter Karmanos uprooted in 1997 and moved to Raleigh, N.C.—have been officially appropriated by their successors, the Hurricanes....
Fiancée Of White Sox Pitcher Jace Fry Appears To Nuke Their Engagement Via Instagram
White Sox pitcher Jace Fry got his first career start Wednesday, against the Indians. It wasn’t a real start—the White Sox tabbed this one as a bullpen game, and Fry only pitched one inning—but, hey, a career first! Meanwhile, while he and his teammates were out there getting pounded by the Indians,...
The Darkest Form Of Basketball Is This Dead Whale Clanging Off A Dumpster
The wonderful state of New Hampshire—full disclosure: I grew up in New Hampshire—has made national news this week, as the world has been captivated by the Granite State’s inability to properly dispose of a dead minke whale that washed ashore at Jenness Beach in Rye Monday. Though a juvenile, the wha...
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
What Football Needs To Be Entertaining To Me, A Non-Football Watcher
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
Anatomy Of A Plaid: Inside A Blogger's Closet
Shirts: My friends, they are a fact of life. I long ago realized that, with the exception of some jobs for which I am not remotely qualified, having a job would mean wearing a shirt of some kind, quite possibly to an office. At least partially as a result, I went on to freelance for the better part...
What The Fuck Are Those?
Sneaker culture is an impenetrable and occasionally confusing fortress of young men and strong opinions; to the untrained eye, a sneaker is a sneaker is a sneaker. Today, though, I think it’s safe to say that these new LeBrons—designed by women, for women—are objectively hideous. ...
U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"
The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality, but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got...
This Is The Stupidest Shit On The Entire Internet
A few weeks ago, I learned about a dystopian gathering called OzyFest where people paid real American dollars to gaze longingly at thinkfluencers and hear soup-brained psychopaths like Karl Rove host panels. The Silicon Valley–funded Ozy—which is somehow not an incisive performance art piece about o...
Olympic Champion Swimmer Uses Dogsitter, Comes Home To Find Two Shirtless Guys On Couch With Lube And Camera
Former Olympic swimmer and two-time gold medalist Klete Keller used the app Wag to find a dogsitter, and very much regretted it when he came home to find two shirtless men on his couch with “personal lubricant” and a camera....
J.J. Redick Says He Discovered A Caged Person In His Taxi
Before a chat with Orlando Magic rookie Mo Bamba, J.J. Redick opened today’s episode of his podcast with an account of how he supposedly saw a person in a cage in his car service driver’s trunk yesterday. Wait, what?...
Let's Remember Some Guys: WrestleMania Vol. IV
“Ripping packs of baseball cards was one of my favorite things to do as a kid,” my colleague David Roth wrote in June in an essay accompanying a video of the baseball card-opening series that I’ve now somehow both wormed my way into and made about professional wrestling. “I like the experience of op...
The Passion Of Dr. Narwhals Mating
With Drew still loose in the rustic wilds of Maine—we have received credible and deeply disturbing reports of him scampering up scenic mountains and devouring crustacean-centric meals in ways that horrified bystanders—the Deadcast casts its gaze back upon past glory this week. There’s a lot of glory...
Golf Channel's Overwrought Tiger Woods Promo Quotes Dylan Thomas, Then Gets Weirder<em></em>
You bright and risen angels! Tiger Woods is either contending for the British Open championship this weekend or, depending upon how seriously you take this comically overwrought Golf Channel promo, going nobly into that BATTLE we all must face, the final charge into the breach in pursuit of masterin...
Nick Kyrgios Got Fined €15,000 For Pretending To Jerk Off With A Water Bottle
Tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios got caught pleasuring (then drinking?) his water bottle on the sideline during his straight-set loss to Marin Cilic at the Queen’s Club Championships in London on Saturday. The mimed masturbation was a playful little gesture, fairly subtle but also in clear full view of a...
The Kings Screwed It Up!
First of all, it’s important to note that making predictions on draft night, or trying to grade teams’ picks, is a fool’s game. None of these guys has played an NBA game yet, and trying to parse the difference between Marvin Bagley III, whom the Kings just drafted at number-two overall, and Luka Don...