will Page 135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....



Reggie Willits Is A Cage Dweller
There's a cute little story in the New York Times today about Angels outfielder Reggie Willits, who's raising a family in a batting cage. It's one giant room, 60 feet long and 32 feet wide, with a batting cage, kitchen, living area, beds ... and no walls between any of them....

"Hey, Guys! It's Oliver!"
Maybe we just couldn't muster up the incredible enthusiasm of these "baseball" "players."...


Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....

The Gyroball Rock
A little late on this, but if you were wondering whether Daisuke Matsuzaka was blessed with musical talent, rest assured, folks, the guy has mad vocal skillz. And by "mad vocal skills," we mean, he warbles songs to warm your heart and soul. He's like the Japanese Oprah....

Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

It's Good To Have A Golf Champion Actually Look Like A Golfer
Like most casual golf fans in America, we spent most of the day yesterday away from the television but curious if Tiger Woods was going to win the U.S. Open. A victory by anyone else would elicit a shrug; a victory by Tiger would somehow matter more, as if we're enough of an expert in golf to unders...

Chad Johnson: The New Barbaro?
How far has horse racing sunk? Far enough that sport's biggest event of the day isn't at Belmont, but at River Downs in Cincinnati....

When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....

We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...

Serena Williams Scoots Out Down The Road
Earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever the heck time it is in Australia), Serena Williams lost in the French Open. Fortunately, this video, from our friends at The Fanhouse, reveals that her time in France was anything but a waste. It's cute: She dances like our aunt at a wedding. Of course, our a...

Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...

Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...

The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....

When It's Time For Mr. Met To Party, It's Time To Party Hard
You thought A-Rod was the only New York baseball personality out partying with attractive ladies all weekend? You clearly forgot about Mr. Met....

The Spurs, And The Playoffs, Are All About The Flop
If you needed concrete proof why many NBA fans have been dreading seeing the Spurs in the NBA Finals, last night's win over the Jazz provided it. It was a succession of flops, plods, slaps, free throws and Manu Ginobili. We know some just call this winning basketball; we think it's sucking all the l...