your Page 55 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try and watch "Honk If You're Horny" in peace:...

Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....

Ole' Ball Coach Has Half a Mind to Tear Off Corso's Merkin
When Steve Spurrier arrived at South Carolina questions arose as to just how quickly he could turn the perennial also-rans into legitimate contenders. As a an undying supporter of the Ball Coach (yeah, I got custom tags when he came to DC) I knew it would just be a matter of time. Unfortunately not ...

You, Too, Can Battle A Gladiator
As you might have heard, NBC is bringing back "American Gladiators" as a midseason replacement this year. This is, of course, outstanding news, though we have a feeling they'll make everybody cut their hair....

George Mitchell, Still Slogging Along
In March 2006, we — Rick, actually — wrote, about the announcement of George Mitchell's steroid panel, "it would seem any investigation would have to be so wide-ranging that Bonds could either surpass Ruth and Aaron or retire before it can be completed." We thought that was ridiculous, and we believ...

And Miss, What Does The "P" Stand For Again?
I don't know much about soccer. I'm not going to pretend to know much about soccer. But if the masses want some Prem League recaps, they are going to get some Prem League recaps. I hope it's sufficient....

What To Watch
• 12:00 pm — This Week in Baseball [FOX] • 1:00 pm — NBA Access with Ahmad Rashad [ABC] • 1:00 pm — Wyndham Championship (Golf) [CBS] • 2:00 pm — AST Dew Tour: Vans Invitational [NBC] • 3:00 pm — Little League World Series: Mid-Atlantic vs. West [ABC] • 3:00 pm — Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull-Riding Ch...

Jose Offerman's Comeback Attempt Hits A Minor Snag
As you surely knew, everyone's favorite smoldering volcano of goodness, ex-major league All-Star Jose Offerman, is playing for the Long Island Ducks of the Independent Atlantic League this season. Or, he was, until he went after opposing players with a bat on Tuesday night. Let's see Bonds try this....

ESPN.com EIC Knows What The Kids Want
A couple of weeks ago, we helped rid you of the annoying video on the front page of ESPN.com. Well, good news: If you weren't able to figure out how to do that, new ESPN.com editor-in-chief Rob King is gonna take care of that for you....


Even Cancer Kids Are Aggressive Red Sox Fans
Nobody told little Lexi Alden, who, upon learning she was on live television, grabbed the microphone and took charge. Hey, Baltimore Orioles: YOU'RE GOING DOWN. The cancer kid says so....


Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way
We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...


Hey Kids! Jay Mohr Is Back!
Unsilent mentioned this briefly over the weekend, but in case you missed it; Jay Mohr is back with his weekly column, and just in time for football season! You may remember Mohr from his cable series with ESPN (canceled) and column with SI.com (dropped), and for such films as Community Service. Well...