Finally, a felonius lacrosse story we can all agree on!
In case you've missed it, a Ohio high school lacrosse coach is under investigation for assault on one of his players. Did he punch the kid in an overheated practice? Did he grab him around the neck and mock-choke him, Knight-style?
No, no, nothing so ribald ... he simply held the kid down while his older teammates stuck their fingers in his ass.
Really. From The Columbus Dispatch: "One coach then held a player down while another, wearing a black glove, inserted his hand into the player's boxer shorts. The boy was screaming, 'Get the (expletive) off of me, leave me alone,' the report says. The event took 20 to 30 seconds, the report says. Players described their teammate as having a 'shocked look, ghostly white face.' But attorney Karl Schneider, who represents Pentz, said the reports are embellished. 'It's horseplay. It's guys being guys.'"
Yes. That is exactly what it is. Who hasn't done a little casual fisting among their boys? Right? Right? Who's with us? Hello?