Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

10) Boxing robe. The boxing memorabilia is always the first to go, and will fetch the highest price. It's also the last link to past greatness.

Advertisement
Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

9) Ten Christmas stockings. Oh God. This is like, Cormac McCarthy-level pathos.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction

8) Nintendo Game Cube. Who the hell bought a Game Cube? Even sadder, the auction also includes an originial Xbox and PS2.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

7) Ratty old speakers. Rusty, outdated and useless. Is this too obvious a metaphor?

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

6) Coffee maker. Not sure why this one gets me so much. It's just the thought of Thomas Hearns waking up each morning, and not being able to afford to make his own cup of coffee.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

5) Silver baby spoon. The mind boggles. Is this a treasured memory of lost innocence? A priceless heirloom that's fed first-born Hearns males for generations? It can be yours, for under $15 bucks, probably.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

4) Bird clock. It's a bird clock.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

3) AA batteries. How bad do your money problems have to be before you're forced to sell off batteries?

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

2) Bluetooth headset — unopened. It's like he bought it and had no one to talk to.

Illustration for article titled The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Advertisement

1) Women's engagement/wedding ring. Now I'm just depressed.

Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`