Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

A shirtless man holding a hammer was found sitting on top of a basketball hoop in Seattle’s Cal Anderson Park Friday. KOMO had almost eight minutes of aerial footage as police tried to get the man down. It’s a riveting video.

Hoop-Hammer Man was initially perched on top of the rim, in a strategic defensive position, but he started to wriggle too much and became vulnerable. The cops grabbed at him but he used his (superhuman?) strength to give them a fight.


Roughly a minute in, officers disarmed Hoop-Hammer Man of his hammer. This devolved him into his weaker form: Hoop Man.

Hoop Man continued to struggle, and cops let him go, allowing him a chance to get down on his own. Hoop Man presumably didn’t want to come down—alas, what is a Hoop Man without his hoop?—and continued to writhe in the air while his leg remained tangled in the rim. He was a handkerchief caught in the light breeze, whipping, twirling, dancing. An unconventional ballet.


Five minutes in, Hoop Man hadn’t made progress on his own. The police brought a ladder. Hoop Man used his free foot to jab at the ladder. Kick wildly at the tyranny, Hoop Man!

Six minutes in, Hoop Man somehow worked his way into this position:

Illustration for article titled The Ballad Of The Hammer-Wielding Man Who Got Stuck In A Basketball Hoop

Seconds later, police once again secured both of Hoop Man’s arms. More officers secured his free leg. About seven minutes in, Hoop Man was freed from his hoop. He reverted to a more familiar form: Man.


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