I don’t know what to say about all these women attempting to distract Pelicans free throw shooters in Houston tonight, except that they’re certainly committed to their craft. I mean, for the above screenshotted gag, they got two children(?) to play Thing 1 and Thing 2 to accompany their sexy Cat in the Hat routine. That’s really taking it to the next level.

And the presence of a completely different group of distracting women just invites a bunch questions. Was this somehow coordinated by the Rockets? Is the dude cosplaying a highlighter in on it too? Where do you even get a dress with “distraction” written across the butt?

I am very confused.

Update: So confused, in fact, that I didn’t even realize the bottom GIF is from a different Rockets-Pelicans game. Also, the mystery of who organized it all can be found in the comments below.

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Contact the author at kevin.draper@deadspin.com.
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