The Sochi opening ceremony is just 15 days away, and American athletes will be wearing this knit patriotic barf.
The Ralph Lauren-made uniforms were unveiled on the Today Show this morning, and reaction has been swift and merciless. A generous interpretation would say the patchwork stylings are reminiscent of certain Russian folk dress. But it's totally just an ugly Christmas sweater.
You will have friends who buy these and wear them ironically. Punch them. They retail for $598, so punch them hard.
Here are hockey players Zach Parise and Julie Chu, looking as proud as they can in these things: