Chase Headley was, incredibly, relatively fine after being hit with a pitch in the dick. May we all be able to walk things off so quickly.

The Yankees beat the Twins 5-2 and have a commanding six-game lead for the first wild card (though still trail the Red Sox by three games in the East). Minnesota is 1.5 games up on Anaheim for the second wild card, so while not guaranteed, there’s a good chance we’ll get a rematch of Yankees-Twins in a one-game playoff. Chase Headley’s dick and balls will be ready.