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Newcastle 0-1 Blackburn. Word on the street is that the Blackburn goal was the result of cheating. Some dirty son of a bitch used his hand. And from what I can gather from the above picture, Newcastle coach Graeme Souness is regarded as sort of a British Matt Millen. Only, those dudes look like they might really beat the hell out of him.

Birmingham City 5-0 Portsmouth. Here's one reason that soccer can be cool: Two very bad teams can play a crucial game. Imagine if the loser of the Week 17 NFL game between San Francisco and Houston had to spend next season in the Arena League.

Everton 1-0 Arsenal. The Toffees continue to rally, upsetting the Gunners behind a 1st-half strike from James Beattie. I feel really good about myself when I say things like "Toffees" and "Gunners."

West Brom 0-1 Sunderland. The game isn't over, but plucky, courageous, gutsy, valiant, lionhearted Sunderland leads this one, currently seeking just their third win of the year.