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We're Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today

Our advertisers know It's important to have a job that makes a difference; that's why they manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

You know, aside from the cheating, we were a great couple. We mean, that's what high school was about: algebra, bad lunch and infidelity. A word of advice, though, our friends; sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go. But don't suck any d—k on the way through the parking lot.

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• Mobizzo
• Hershey's
• BBC America

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