On Sunday, an Arizona minor league hockey team's owner, GM, captain, and marketing director perched themselves atop a scissor lift. They would not come down, they declared, until the team sold 300 season tickets. It has been 94 hours. The team has not sold 300 season tickets. They are still up there. Please send help.

The Central Hockey League's Arizona Sundogs, like many minor league hockey teams, break out creative promotions and gimmicks to fill the arena. The latest, and possibly most abusive for the Coyotes affiliate, is the "Whatever It Takes" campaign. On Sunday at precisely noon, co-owner Brad Fain, GM Chris Presson, captain (and former NHL journeyman) Jason Morgan, and PR chief Lew Rees ascended in a scissor lift at the corner of Glassford Hill Road and Highway 69, in Prescott Valley. They have a pulley to raise food and lower their waste. They have an umbrella to block the desert sun. They have 300 season tickets to sell. Whatever it takes.


It's taken longer than they expected. The sun is strong, and the nights are cold, into the 30s. Spring is remarkably windy in the valley. They're still up there, right now.

Satish Athelli, the Sundogs' merchandise operations manager, is part of their ground support team. He's out there with them in the daytime, but at night gets to go home to his family and his bed. On his Twitter account, he's been sending out frequent updates on their condition and the sales drive's progress. It makes for remarkably grim reading, like a journal from the Donner Party.

As of three hours ago, the Sundogs had sold 256 season tickets, 44 shy of their goal. Forty-four tickets away from liberation for those four windblown souls, one of whom (the GM) suffers from acrophobia. Forty-four tickets from escaping their 5' x 8' prison 30 feet in the sky. Say a prayer for the Sundogs.

Update, hour 98: Oh god:

H/t Clue Heywood.