You know the drill by now: Some dipshit company like GoDaddy or Carl's Jr. makes a lascivious Super Bowl ad, only to be bombarded with a host of last-second edits from the prudes in your average network's S&P department. And then they go ahead and post the uncut ad—highly NSFW (OOH!), like the one above—on their website and re-fashion their actual Super Bowl ad into a teaser promising (and failing to deliver) a naked Danica Patrick. It was no different when we attempted to create our own Super Bowl ad. We wrote it. We shot it. We cut it. We thought it was titillating, but still suitable for broadcast. After all, if you're gonna pay $4.5 million for a :30 slot, you better make damn sure your spot gets attention!
And then we were summarily rejected. We don't really know why. Just the NFL being its typical uptight self, I'd wager. We even tried to sneak through local broadcasting channels, only to fail. That's the bad news. The good news is that such a rejection allows us to say this ad was TOO SEXAY FOR TEH TV. In its uncut form, we think this is the Super Bowl ad you've always been promised by advertisers, only for them to let you down time and time again. We're not gonna let you down. We're here to give you what you want. So sit back and enjoy our Super Bowl ad. And we thank you for supporting Deadspin.