samfels27 Page 107 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dallas Becomes the Nexus of All Our Problems
On the same day that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said that the Cowboys will play in front of their fans when the NFL season kicks off, it must turn his incredibly stretched skin red and close to rupture to know that another team in Dallas was the first to play in front of fans last night....
Bubble Dumb: College Football Coaches Are The Last People Who Should Be In Charge
It’s long been a truth to college football coaches that any problem can be solved by making sure players study their playbooks more. Creating a “bubble,” as they see it in their mind, is actually utopia to pretty much every college football coach. An environment where all a player can do is stay in ...
Hockey Playoffs Off to Excruciating 5-OT Start, Damien Lillard Joins Wilt in Rarefied Air
The official NHL Playoffs got started yesterday afternoon, and apparently won’t ever stop. For the first time in history, one NHL Playoff game had to be bumped to the next day because another NHL Playoff game squatted on the ice for just over six hours, the kind of thing you do before David Blaine t...
AEW Has Run Out Of Excuses for Its Women’s Division
When AEW came onto the scene about a year ago, it promised a lot of things. It promised a lot of things that would be different than the other wrestling/TV company, WWE. It would feature a bigger variety of styles and performers, it would have an actual tag-team division, it wouldn’t be afraid to be...
The West is the Rest - NHL Playoff Preview: Western Conference
Let’s keep the machine rolling with the outlook for the Western Conference, entrapped in Northern Alberta. ...
Death, Taxes & MLB Players Being Stupid
It was yet another banner day for MLB, which seems to be having them one after another. They’ve sat next to the cooler at the casino, by choice, except that they’ll still walk out of the casino with most of their chips. After all, it’s not their chips they’re playing with. And if the players continu...
Do You Mind If We Dance With Your Dates? - NHL First Round Preview: Eastern Conference
In a bit of true hockey hilarity, the actual NHL bubble-ized playoffs will begin without either of the “hosts” on Tuesday. Both the Toronto Maple Leafs and Edmonton Oilers scheduled a date for their respective faces with the pavement, and hence will have to watch these modified playoffs take place i...
Why Can’t the Astros Quietly Endure Their Shame?
The Houston Astros, instead of being content to take its shaming and move on, have decided to stick with their furious campaign to be the boil on the ass of baseball. Both they and the Oakland A’s are staring down the barrel of some pretty serious suspensions after a benches-clearing brawl yesterday...
Sarri’s Not Enough: Juventus Boots Manager as Champions League Drought Continues
It is strange for a club to fire its manager after winning the league. It’s not unheard of, as Real Madrid once fired Vicente Del Bosque after he’d won both the Champions League and La Liga twice, but it’s still strange. To do it in two consecutive years however suggests a nutty desperation, a flail...
Connor McDavid Deserves Better Than This Garbage
If you’re lucky enough to have never known true despair and yet wish to understand, even only to show empathy, look into the eyes of Connor McDavid. Look deep, and see true hopelessness, the fear that the world will never truly understand what you are through no fault of your own, the knowledge your...
The Mourning After: Gruden Gonna Gruden, MLS Gonna MLS & MLB Gonna Step on More Rakes
We’ll start with the truly weird, or at least it would be if it weren’t the world of football coaches. We should have guessed that some coach would have taken the situation in the world and used it to perform some sort of deluded, self-designed Rorschach test on their own team. Which is exactly what...
Smoking Your Menthols — Champions League is Back
The last stage of finishing the 2019-2020 season is upon us, more than a year after it started. The Champions League returns tomorrow, though in an abbreviated form. The quarterfinals and semifinals will not be two legs, but one-offs in Lisbon. It does change the tournament, and possibly in a major ...
The Mourning After: Moonshots Galore
- No league can like it when, every time their commissioner opens his mouth, it immediately becomes a jenkem distillery (go ahead and Urban Dictionary THAT, I dare ya!), but that’s where MLB finds itself. Rob Manfred ran to the press, stood on the bucket he carries so we could see more than his fore...
Stan Kroenke Takes His Evil International as FA Cup Champ Arsenal Gives FU to 55 Axed Workers
Putting that in present tense is a mistake, of course. Stan Kroenke has been the shithead owner of Arsenal FC for a long while now, along with his other teams. Today was perhaps his coup de asshole, though. ...
Fulham Return To Premier League With a Goal From Narnia
The Championship Playoff Final is often labeled “The Richest Match In The World.” Because it is. The winner gets promoted to the Premier League, and along with it the aircraft carrier of TV money, increased ticket prices, uptick in merchandise, and everything else. It is estimated that winning the g...
The Mourning After: Canes Eliminate Rangers, Plague-Ravaged Marlins Blank Orioles
We’ve had our first ejection out of the NHL bubble, as the New York Rangers never came close to beating the Carolina Hurricanes and have hence been punted out of Toronto. I hope they line them outside the hotel and loudly shut the gate behind them as all the players of the teams still competing watc...
Is a Sentient AI Trying to Destroy the Pittsburgh Pirates?
It was always going to be a trudge for the Pittsburgh Pirates. They are the only team in the NL Central not at least making an effort to win. They’ve been stripped of almost any recognizable players. Their fans have to watch Austin Meadows and Tyler Glasnow anchor the competitive Rays while Chris Ar...
Is the Dream Already Over for Shohei Ohtani?
Baseball announcers love to tell you the great thing about the game is that every day you have a chance, maybe even likely, to see something you’ve never seen before. That doesn’t always hold true, but it’s a lovely thought. All sports promise something memorable and awe-inspiring at a moment’s noti...
The Mourning After: Casualties Mount In Baseball (Evergreen Headline Right Now tbh)
The baseball season made up of duct tape and used chewing gum continued to roll on. The Cardinals and Tigers series this week was postponed, while the infected Cardinals were rented cars to drive themselves from Milwaukee back to St. Louis. No word on whether the doors on said cars were controlled r...
Matt Dumba Spoke From His Heart, and the NHL Left Him Out to Dry
Update: Ryan Reaves reversed course and kneeled for the anthem before Vegas’s game against Dallas, along with Robin Lehner, Tyler Seguin, and Jason Dickinson....