Here Are Some Of The Interesting And Horrifying Revelations From The Larry Nassar Report

Yesterday, Ropes & Gray, the law firm commissioned by the USOC to investigate the various institutional and individual failures that enabled Larry Nassar to abuse hundreds of gymnasts for decades, issued a report on their findings . The biggest revelation—that Alan Ashley, chief of sports performance, was notified in…

Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?

All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of us in The Digital…

We Live. We Die. Forever Is a Myth. Buy This Erasable Boogie Board For $16.

Permanence is overrated. For evidence, go back and read what you wrote in your LiveJournal when you were 17. How hard does it make you cringe? You never have to feel that way again with the Boogie Board 8.5" LCD Writing Tablet. It allows you to endlessly write, rewrite, erase, and forget, and it’s way better for the…

No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes

There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era. Athletes have…

2018's Selectively Capitalized Daily Mail Headlines, From A to Z

As far as I’m concerned, one of the last remaining reliable sources of joy on this planet is The Daily Mail’s continued practice of selective capitalization in its headlines. You’ll be reading and all of a sudden, the Mail is shrieking “PENIS” in your eyes, as if your eyes wouldn’t have been drawn to the genitals if…

Despised Coach Of Chicago Bulls, On Task Force Designed To Mitigate His Failings: "I'm Jacked Up"

It’s been just eight days since Fred Hoiberg got canned, opening up the Bulls head coach vacancy that was then filled by Jim Boylen. The speed with which the shit has leapt towards the fan strains credulity. But since the Bulls found themselves stuck under the thumb of this retrograde strongman, they have: suffered a …

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