Two things that we know for sure are that the New York Yankees are going to acquire some starting pitching before this year’s trade deadline, and that the Toronto Blue Jays are big-time ass. The Blue Jays are also in possession of 28-year-old starter Marcus Stroman, who, along with everyone else, seems to think he’d…

Edinson Cavani secured Uruguay a big win over Chile yesterday with a stunning goal in the 82nd minute. The goal itself was sweet, as it meant Uruguay finished atop their group in the Copa América. But what made it even sweeter was that Cavani scored it over the guy who once stuck his fingers up Cavani’s butthole.

Early Monday evening, the Knicks briefly wrested back the crown for the New York metropolitan area’s largest tire fire. Briefly. Because only a little later Monday evening, the Mets were in the news again. And when the Mets are in the news, it’s never, ever for anything good.

In the bottom of the eighth inning Monday night in Arizona, a young woman ran from the stands and into right field, where she appeared to awkwardly hug Dodgers superstar Cody Bellinger. Needless to say, this ended with the young woman being arrested.

Monday night Milwaukee Bucks destroyer of worlds Giannis Antetokounmpo became the first European import to win the NBA Most Valuable Player award since Dirk Nowitzki in 2007, and the first NBA player ever to win MVP after having won the NBA’s Most Improved Player, which Giannis won after the 2016–17 season. Giannis’s…

A lowlife Kansas City radio host invoked the 2012 death of Andy Reid’s son Garrett as part of an overarching criticism of Reid’s approach to personal accountability, in yet another sign that sports radio should be made illegal immediately.

Dallas Mavericks sensation Luka Dončić won Rookie of the Year honors Monday night at the annual NBA Awards, inexplicably broadcast live on TNT, which presumably ran out of rerun episodes of Bones with which to fill their primetime schedule.

Former Sacramento Kings and Miami Heat chief revenue officer Jeffrey David was sentenced to seven years in prison Monday for embezzling $13.4 million from two Kings sponsors in an arena naming rights scheme he executed in 2015. David pleaded guilty to wire fraud and aggravated identity theft charges back in December.

On the same day that another New York professional sports team was punished by its league for a manager and pitcher picking a fight with a reporter over a benign salutation, the New York Knickerbockers incredibly managed to retain their crown as the pettiest and least professional team in the Big Apple. It took some…

The Mets Metsed a lot yesterday, and in response to that Metsing, they prepared some apologies today. Sadly, they Metsed those, too.

When former Canadian national team player and current TSN pundit Kaylyn Kyle criticized the USWNT for their goal celebrations during the historic 13-0 win over Thailand by saying, “I think, as a Canadian, we would just never ever think about doing something like that,” it raised the question of whether it were true…

In some MLB injury news that felt as sadly inevitable as it is disappointing, St. Louis Cardinals closer Jordan Hicks is likely out for the long-term future, as the team announced today that he tore the UCL in his right (throwing) elbow. The Cardinals said they are “determining the next course of action” for Hicks,…