Jimmy Butler: I Pooped On My Timberwolves Teammates Even Worse Than You Thought

New 76er and true cheesebutt Jimmy Butler appeared on teammate JJ Redick’s podcast this week, where he discussed, among other things, the circumstances of his exit from the Timberwolves. That’s a terribly cursed sentence, given what it describes, but these are two provolone-ass individuals, before we even get to the…

Here Are Some Of The Interesting And Horrifying Revelations From The Larry Nassar Report

Yesterday, Ropes & Gray, the law firm commissioned by the USOC to investigate the various institutional and individual failures that enabled Larry Nassar to abuse hundreds of gymnasts for decades, issued a report on their findings . The biggest revelation—that Alan Ashley, chief of sports performance, was notified in…

Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?

All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of us in The Digital…

We Live. We Die. Forever Is a Myth. Buy This Erasable Boogie Board For $16.

Permanence is overrated. For evidence, go back and read what you wrote in your LiveJournal when you were 17. How hard does it make you cringe? You never have to feel that way again with the Boogie Board 8.5" LCD Writing Tablet. It allows you to endlessly write, rewrite, erase, and forget, and it’s way better for the…

Ousmane Dembélé Clowns Two Tottenham Defenders And Dunks The Ball Into The Net

Ousmane Dembélé just gave Barcelona the lead against Tottenham in the Champions League by flying past defender Kyle Walker-Peters with an absolutely insulting big touch and then sitting midfielder Harry Winks on his ass with his trademark fake shot before slamming the ball past goalkeeper Hugo Lloris and now I want…

No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes

There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era. Athletes have…

2018's Selectively Capitalized Daily Mail Headlines, From A to Z

As far as I’m concerned, one of the last remaining reliable sources of joy on this planet is The Daily Mail’s continued practice of selective capitalization in its headlines. You’ll be reading and all of a sudden, the Mail is shrieking “PENIS” in your eyes, as if your eyes wouldn’t have been drawn to the genitals if…

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