e Page 8073 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bryce Harper Completes Washington Nationals
High school dropout Bryce Harper and his dumb face paint are heading to Washington. Might as well start him tomorrow night and get it all over with. [Live draft updates @ MLB.com, Pic: AP]...

And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....

Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...

Fans Bring Greek Basketball Finals To A Violent, Pyrotechnic End (UPDATE)
In Game 4 of the Greek A-1 League finals between Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, referees declared Panathinaikos the winner after Olympiakos fans interrupted the game by shooting a flare at the Panathinaikos team and staff. Holy shitkos....

Survival Of The Fastest At Citi Field, As Man Robs Kid Of Foul Ball
We're finding it hard not to sympathize with the guy on this one, because we've never caught a ball of our own. Still, we're always up for a public shaming....

Tim Donaghy On The Refs In Game 2: What Star Treatment?
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 2, with accompanying video....

David Hirshey Is Your World Cup Historian, Not Your World Cup Closer
David Hirshey wrote regularly for this site about soccer for two years before selling us out to write a terrific book for ESPN. He talked to Emeritus about the book, the World Cup and mustaches....

My Slow Grind With Landon Donovan's Ex: A Word From Our World Cup Correspondent
Luke O'Brien and his crew of irregulars will be filing occasional dispatches from South Africa for us. Today, a story of attraction and frottage, involving our correspondent and one Bianca Kajlich, then the future (and now the former) Mrs. Landycakes....

Intern Horrors: Mike Francesa Doesn't Run The Tightest Of Ships
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns, and the titans of industry who employ them, bitch about each other's deplorable behavior. This week we have what WFAN's really like, the perils of the music biz, combing through files, and more....

The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....

Too Much Sex Could Spoil Argentina, Suggests Brazilian
The consensus seems to be that a sportsman should ideally compete at the very height of sexual frustration......

LeBron Watch, Day 18: Danny Ferry, Loser
No one should be shocked that Cleveland cleaned house after the Cavaliers lost in the playoffs. Especially now-former GM Danny Ferry....

And Here's A Little Kid Drinking Beer At A Baseball Game
Extra innings on a brutally humid Philadelphia afternoon isn't easy to sit through. One tyke with a bright future discovered how Daddy makes it through the day, and why Daddy is mean to Mommy sometimes. [via The Fightins]...

Weekend Winner: Suspect Refereeing
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like complaining about the officiating in the NHL and NBA finals, a tradition as old as sport itself. The peanut gallery's louder than usual today, perhaps not without reason....

Michael Jordan Still Doing Weird Things With His Tongue
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Two Leagues, Two Titles, Two Games-One Time
It all begins at the same time. 8:00pm....

Philadelphia Soccer Dresses Like Philadelphia Hockey
The Philadelphia Union wore Flyers inspired jerseys and lost to the Chicago Fire 2-1. Lookin' good boys! [700 Level]...

Win, Win, Win
Just take the two extremely short surveys (as in one question) below, and you could win $150 to spend at Ticketmaster on whatever sporting contest you so desire. [Rules]...

Dr. Doc Rivers: Be Like The Squirrel Girl, Be Like The Squirrel
Doc Rivers hid $2600 in the Staples Center as a way to motivate his team to get back to LA for the Finals....

Read This: Washington Post Profile on Dr. Anthony Galea
Take 20 minutes and read Amy Shipley's excellent profile of Dr. Anthony Galea. Washingon Post...