Matt Hasselbeck Is Sexy, You See (YEAH!)

Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama." (You know, because of the loggers.)
Well, with Sunday's rather imposing game at Soldier Field looming, the radio folks are at it again, pumping up the crowd with "I Am Matt Hasselbeck", set to the tune of Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback." (This has been tried before, when Tigers fans put together the great line "You Down With Brandon Inge?") You know you want some lyrics ... don't you ... don't you? Of course you do!
I am Matt Hasselbeck. (YEAH!) Them other teams don't know how to act. (YEAH!) Our team is special, man, and it's a fact. (YEAH!) Tony Romo, hey man, you blew the snap. (YEAH!)
(TAKE IT TO THE BEARS!)
Dirty Rex ... you see our D is just too complex. (YEAH!)
You know, we really can't type out any more of this.
"I Am Matt Hasselbeck" [KKWF] Sweet Shaun Alexander [Deadspin]


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