Deadspin
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ...
• "Candace Parker has played with more heart the past two games than I've seen in quite a while!" — Michael6578
Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...
• "How fun is it to watch Donovan and Beckham play brilliantly with each other?" — kmoney113
•
• I don't know, kmoney113 — tell me. Because I'm still not going to watch fucking soccer. — Chamomiles Davis
Comments
Fuck yeah she did! Did you see her dunk over.....oh, wait.
"Tyler Hansbrough has played with more heart the past three seasons than I've seen in quite a while!" - TVjackOffs
God has broken more Harts the past decade than I've seen in quite a while! --BlueBlazer1999
Max Mosely has played with more Nazi prostitutes at the past party than I've seen in quite a while.
Peter Parker has displayed more web slinging ability the past two days than I've seen in quite a while.
-spideyfan
my head hurts from reading that.
Candace Cameron has acted with more heart in the final 2 seasons than I've seen in quite a while! --Tanner1995
This comment is actually true, as Candace Parker practices the Temple of Doom heart-removal ceremony before every game.
Bali-monnnnn...
Chris Henry has tossed more salad in the past 2 years than I've seen in a while - prisonbitch9856
I watched two games of women's basketball, more than anyone's seen in quite a while!
Packers, Cowboys, and Colts? This guy's a D-bag
So a blank comment is better than just about anything else we came up with on Friday? Sweet.
"Layups are fun!!!" -- Michael6578
I am just way more excited about women's basketball than any man should be! Hold me! - Michael6578
"That Thuggee Head Priest has played with more hearts than a boy my age should ever see! Do something, Dr. Jones!"
- Short Round
Mola Ram has played with more hearts the past two days than I've seen in quite a while.
-IndianadontcallmeJRJones
@Zach Parise's Shorty: now I feel bad...he's in the airforce apparently...but it's still lame to have those as his favorite teams.
WALT!! WAAAAAAAAAALT!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!!! -Michael4815162342
@Steve518: Fuckin a.
Trying to come up with a joke involving the band Heart but can't quite pull it together.
How can I mock someone who says this?
I am a Dale Jr. fan and that isnt because of the name. He and I are a lot alike with our outlook on life and I like his driving style as well!
True, Michael6578. True.
"I love exclamation points!!!"
-Michael6578
Candace Parker may have played with more heart, but she's obviously blind since she's engaged to Shelden Williams. -dookhatr.
My TV was on ESPN when the batteries in the remote died. Turns out there's a women's basketball tournament. - Michael6578
"Candace Parker has played with more heart worms the past two games than I've seen in quite a while!"
-FemaleBasketballPlayersRUgly469
However, I bleed green & orange...someone must have been playing with my heart.
-Michael6578
Candace Parker has played more Heart the past two weeks than I've heard in quite a while!"--barracuda
... of course I've watched three women's college basketball games in my life, so what the fuck do I know?!?!1! -- Michael6578
"Parker Posey has played more roles in indie films in the past two years than I've seen in a while! :) lol "
-Jezebel666
"Gheorge Muresan has acted with more heart in My Giant than I've seen in quite a while!" - ThaCrystalBall
Unless Michael6578 is a cardiothoracic surgeon, I'm really not that impressed.
@Paper Cut: Gigantism!
[nbadraft.net]
[nbadraft.net]
Playing basketball with a heart is messy, not to mention disrespectful to the donor and his family! -Michael6578
"Jay Mariotti has had more heart problems in the past two years than any other sportswriter!"
--DoctorJarvik
@UkraineNotWeak: Nancy Wilson has played guitar with more heart than any woman I've seen in a while. -CCrowe1982
"Jason Collier has played with more heart than all other Hawks!"
-Hawksfan05
Too soon?
@UkraineNotWeak: glad you worked your problems out
Reggie Lewis has played with a larger heart in this pickup basketball game than I've seen in quite a while! --AboutToBeAHorrifiedSpectator
"Bonnie Parker has sprayed lead through more hearts the past two years than I've seen in quite a while!" - FBI1934
"Camilla Parker has played with my cock more the past two years than I've seen in quite a while!" --Charles6578
Pauline has played with more hearts the past two games than I've seen in quite a while! Good thing I didn't get the Queen.
/ Microsoft Hearts Network fan
If you kill anyone make sure to eat their heart to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage. Yum yum.
-Pr.Farnsworth
Sarah Jessica Parker has played more sexy roles the past 7 years than I've seen a horseface play in quite a while
/MaximSubscriber4Life
"That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that nigga's name. You can't be serious. Candace Parker. Get the fuck outta here." - STOP DROP SHUTEMDOWNOPENUPSHOP
It's a scientific impossibility for anyone to play with more heart than Tyler Hasnbrough. We've proven it with our own anecdotal tests!
Did someone really make a comment about women's college ball? Has hell frozen over?
Kris Parker has dominated the mic for more than 20 years. Nuff said.-KnowledgeReignsSupremeOverNearlyEverybody (KRS-1)
"My heart says to buy more Parker Brothers board games, even though I haven't played one in quite a while." --DamnUPlaystation2
Yeah, but does she have the heart to shoulder the blame when they lose to Stanford? - SummitSkeptic
"I wont ever see Candace Parker play basketball! That's quite a while!" - SportsFan6578
Teppo Numminen played with more heart in the Sabres' finale against Boston than he's played with his entire life. -Leafs1967
"Tender-Heart Bear has played with more heart than I've seen in Care-A-Lot in a while"
-DarkHeart6578
... Who? - confused69
That's kind of gross. She might want to look into getting a surgeon to sew up that chest cavity.
Heart is the new talent
"Professional Wrestling has had no Hart since 1999!"
-RememberingOwen
Women! Basketball! Fundamentals! Interjection!
Candace Parker has a big heart. The star player's big heart does not always result in the NCAA championship, though. -- BoKimble
"Charlie Parker has played with more heroin the past two gigs than I've seen in quite a while!" - BirdFan6578
ESPN has a featured comment about the women's basketball tournament, the day after one about the MLS, two sports ESPN has broadcast rights to? I'm sure that's a coincidence - Me
@DukesDawg: Interesting, but I don't think that's the case. That would mean they were willing to put out an edict directing the reviewers to look specifically for those comments . . . they wouldn't do that, would they? Seriously, I just think these are the only times people would care about this crap, e.g., when is women's basketball relevant other than NCAA tourney time; and the Donovan/Beckham thing was just lucky.
Remember, ESPN also has rights to NFL, NBA, MLB, PGA, NCAA Football & Basketbal and some type of racing, so you would have to extend your comments to those sports as well.
"Candace Parker had played more like Hart Lee Dykes than anyone I've seen in quite awhile"
-TBoonePickens3338
You know how I know you're gay? You just admitted to watching at least two women's NCAA basketball games.
Kay Parker has played with her son's balls more in the past two weeks than I've seen in a while!
Taboo1979
@FEAST: Your first comment was absolutely brilliant. I laughed my ass off.
Ray Parker Jr. has played "Ghostbusters" at more bar mitzvahs in the part two weeks than I've seen in quite a while! -daotherwoman
ESPN - your home for the NCAA Women's Basketball Championships, LPGA and WNBA - sponsored by Viagra....
"after she pounds the boards, pound her. Your boner is guaranteed through the the NFL Draft brought to you by Vagisil".
Antonio Alfonseca has pitched with more fingers than anyobody I've seen in quite a while. --Extradigitation6578
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