The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls.

Belichick's excuse does nothing to explain how the Colts' footballs were somehow immune to thermophysics.

That pro process we found raises the PSI approximately 1 pound. So that process of creating a tackiness, a texture, a feel — whatever the feel is, it's just a sensation for the quarterback, what's the right feel, that process elevates the PSI approximately 1 pound based on what our study shows, which was multiple balls, multiple examples in the process as we would do for a game.

It's not one football. When the balls are delivered to the officials locker room, the firsts were asked to inflate them to 12.5 PSI. What exactly they did, I don't know, but for the purposes of our study, that's what we did. We set them at 12.5. That's at the discretion of the official, though, regardless of what we ask for, it's the officials' discretion to put them where he wants. again, that's done in a controlled climate. The footballs are prepared in our locker room. They are delivered to the officials' locker room, a controlled environment. It's whatever we have here is what we have there. When the footballs go out on the field into the game conditions, whatever those conditions are, hot and humid, whether it's cold and damp, where's it's cold and dry, whether it's whatever it is, that's where the footballs are played with, and that's where the measurements would be different than what they are, possibly different than what they are in a controlled environment. That's what we found.

We found that once the balls, the footballs were on the field over an extended period of time, in other words, they were adjusted to the climatic conditions and also the fact that the balls reached and equilibrium without the rubbing process that after that had run its course and the balls reached an equilibrium, theY were down approximately 1.5 square inch. Bringing the balls in after the process and retested them in a controlled environment as we have here, then those measurements rose approximately one-half pound per square inch, so the net of 1.5 back to a half is approximately 1 pound per square inch to one and a half.

Now, we all know that air pressure is a function of the atmospheric conditions. It's a function of that. So if there's activity in the ball relative to the rubbing process, I think that explains why, When we gave them to the officials, and the officials put it out, let's say 12.5, that once the ball reached its equilibrium state, it was closer to 11.5, but that's, again, that's just our measurements. We can't speak specifically to what happened because we are not — have no way of touching the footballs other than once the officials have them, we don't touch them for when we play with them in the game. But it's similar to the concept of when you get into your car and the light comes on, and it says low tire pressure because the car's been sitting in the driveway, outside, overnight, and you start it up, drive, and the light goes off. It's a similar concept to that. So atmospheric conditions and true equilibrium of the ball is critical to the measurement. At no time were any of the footballs prepared anywhere other than in the locker room or in an area close to that. Never in a heated room or heated condition. That's absolutely never taken place to anyone's knowledge or recollection, and I mean, that's just — didn't happen.